New To Forum/ptsd

[Deleted member 9232]

Hello I'm a 30 year old lady who has severe and chronic PTSD. For almost 2 years after being diagnosed all I did was eat my zombie pills and work a mundane job. My life wasn't good by any means, I knew I was merely existing. Sometimes I would complain to my therapist that I just didn't feel right, like I could feel the meds repressing something.
I thought I was cured when I fell back in love with my boyfriend that I had before I went to Baghdad. I stopped taking all the meds and was fine for 3 months. I decided to try to go to culinary school, BAD MISTAKE...all of my PTSD symptoms hit me full force. My biggest fear was that people would just assume I was stupid/wierd/crazy and leave it at that because that how I felt. To make a long story short I bolted out of there when I felt like launching a 9 inch chef's knife across the room.
Now here I am getting better therapy and meds. I'm doing my best to work through all of these horrible feelings PTSD brings. Most of the time it leaves me with the feeling of a deep sad anger. I don't have an understanding companion. He was in combat and has combat related PTSD...I have PTSD from childhood, early adulthood, and combat...not brain dead yet. His logic is that I didn't go through enough in combat because I'm a woman. I could rant about that for days so I'll end it now. I'm hoping to talk to a few people and see how they cope. As of now I feel like a martian amongst others:alien:..I know I'm not that far gone yet....

 

[The Albatross]

Welcome TS... glad you're here.

 

[Deleted member 9232]

Thank You

 

[The Albatross]

You are quite welcome... lots of support and things to learn here to help you cope... I'm learning quite a lot and have had some improvements. I wish you and your partner well, and check out the article section... a ton of good stuff to read up on here.

 

[Deleted member 9232]

See that's the problem with my partner, he refuses help...Are there any articles related to tranquilizing a significant other and having them commited...Joking:p

 

[The Albatross]

Heh... um... nope... but as both a suffer and a "carer" you can learn plenty from what this forum offers... and be an example to your partner (that's what I've been doing, though my partner is not a PTSD like me).

 

[Deleted member 9232]

Wow are you like the Gestapo of the forums????

 

[The Albatross]

Beg your pardon?

 

[Deleted member 9232]

Sorry I just feel that caring should come from both sides...I'm just saying I've read all the articles I've tried to make him see a new perspective but he refuses. It's not that I don't care he's the one that doesn't care. I mean would you tell your partner that if they go get inpatient care then they won't have a home to come back to.

 

[The Albatross]

Personally? In my 21 years of marriage, I've shown him the door when he fought for the status quo and I couldn't accept the unhealthy lifestyle choices he wanted to ignore probably about 5 times. He has chosen to stay and partner with me. Basically it all boiled down to my own inability to "stay sick" and his difficulty in what it was going to take for me to become well... as well as some changes to the way he was treating me. We did work through it with a mediator and two mentors (one for him and one for me)... it was a group effort in our church and was one of the most beneficial experiences toward positive change. It hasn't been easy, but we're in joint therapy right now, and still together.

There were perception obstacles on both our "sides", and we are managing better now and better able to communicate. That wasn't always the case.

I don't think I said anywhere that caring should only come from one partner. What I did acknowledge, was that you are both... a sufferer and a carer.... as is he but he's not here. You are. It was meant as a welcome and encouragement only.

 

[ChillyNilly]

Welcome TS! I'm new too and happy to meet you!
Nilly

 

[Deleted member 9232]

Hello! So how has life on the planet PTSD been treating ya?

Nice to meet you too Nilly.