holdmyheart
New Here
Welcome!
I can relate so much to your story and am so glad someone finally gets it. My fiance also has recently been diagnosed with chronic PTSD thanks to a combat deployment and like your family- my family is not his biggest fan. I admit he can be a bit much to handle, not the most social of people, not the easiest to understand, and certainly from time to time doesn't treat me the way they'd like to see me treated. What they can't see and couldn't possibly understand is what I see him battle on a daily basis.
It's certainly difficult being the woman in his life sometimes, but it's also rewarding on those rare days when he tells me how much he appreciates me, plays with our daughter, laughs, or I see that sparkle in his eyes that tells me he's truly enjoying life. I love him, I just don't like him sometimes. :)
Actually, it's uncanny how much our stories parallel because thanks to some unwise financial decisions we've also had a to live with family for a short time and though I thought it would take some of the pressure off him, I actually think it made everything worse. My family, ofcourse, would hear him lash out at me, see how hurt I was by his lack of attention, or watch me walk around on eggshells and feel the need to defend me. As you can imagine, that doesn't go over well- and only ends up making things harder on the both of us.
My fiance also is passionate about football and though I'm relieved he's found something he can find joy in, it seems like sometimes he's more passionate about a football game than he is me- and it is hard sometimes living with that lack of attachment, intimacy, and support. Like your husband, he is a wonderful Daddy and I am so thankful for that!
I'm in the process of finding a counselor I can talk to for support in my area; my fiance already sees a counselor but understandably so they've been focused on his issues right now and it's still too early to bring me into the conversation. That being said, I think your counselor probably has the right idea. I can definitely understand grieving for the man you lost.
Sometimes when it all becomes too overwhelming, I lie in bed and cry- and it's not necessarily that everything has gotten worse or that life is any different than it was the day before- it's just that I need to cry. I think in those moments I might be grieving the life I thought we'd have, the life we could have had, maybe the part of him that I feel like was lost in Iraq?
Anyway, sorry to make this so long. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I'm around if you ever need someone to talk to!
I can relate so much to your story and am so glad someone finally gets it. My fiance also has recently been diagnosed with chronic PTSD thanks to a combat deployment and like your family- my family is not his biggest fan. I admit he can be a bit much to handle, not the most social of people, not the easiest to understand, and certainly from time to time doesn't treat me the way they'd like to see me treated. What they can't see and couldn't possibly understand is what I see him battle on a daily basis.
It's certainly difficult being the woman in his life sometimes, but it's also rewarding on those rare days when he tells me how much he appreciates me, plays with our daughter, laughs, or I see that sparkle in his eyes that tells me he's truly enjoying life. I love him, I just don't like him sometimes. :)
Actually, it's uncanny how much our stories parallel because thanks to some unwise financial decisions we've also had a to live with family for a short time and though I thought it would take some of the pressure off him, I actually think it made everything worse. My family, ofcourse, would hear him lash out at me, see how hurt I was by his lack of attention, or watch me walk around on eggshells and feel the need to defend me. As you can imagine, that doesn't go over well- and only ends up making things harder on the both of us.
My fiance also is passionate about football and though I'm relieved he's found something he can find joy in, it seems like sometimes he's more passionate about a football game than he is me- and it is hard sometimes living with that lack of attachment, intimacy, and support. Like your husband, he is a wonderful Daddy and I am so thankful for that!
I'm in the process of finding a counselor I can talk to for support in my area; my fiance already sees a counselor but understandably so they've been focused on his issues right now and it's still too early to bring me into the conversation. That being said, I think your counselor probably has the right idea. I can definitely understand grieving for the man you lost.
Sometimes when it all becomes too overwhelming, I lie in bed and cry- and it's not necessarily that everything has gotten worse or that life is any different than it was the day before- it's just that I need to cry. I think in those moments I might be grieving the life I thought we'd have, the life we could have had, maybe the part of him that I feel like was lost in Iraq?
Anyway, sorry to make this so long. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I'm around if you ever need someone to talk to!
