Supporter New To Ptsd As A Supporter

[Glara]

Hi. I'm very new to this and very confused. I reconnected with a former lover from 30 yrs ago through social media. He was very special to me back then but we lived far apart. He felt the same way. We live far apart now also. We were texting constantly and it was very good. Then he became very ill and everything changed. He recovered but everything changed. I got upset and confronted him. Thats when he told me he suffers from ptsd. I'm crazy about him and want to stick by him but I don't know what to do. As planned to see each but that in ok we travel. I'm afraid to travel and have him not show up. I don't even know if I should text him anymore. He always answers but I just don't know if he wants me text. He told me he's calling apart. I need help and I'm heartbroken

 

[SeanCharles]

Welcome to the forum! Sounds like a very rough situation. I am sure that you will find some useful information here on the forum.

Sean/Geordie

 

[mrsps]

((hugs)) its great you want to stick by him, he is very lucky to have a person like you in his life. Have you talked to him and told him that even though he has ptsd you still want to be there for him? He may think that because he has told you, you want to run from him. He is properly feeling lost about you as well, communication is the key :) good luck

 

[Glara]

Yes I told him. I've been reading everything I can on this but I'm still not sure what to do. I never forgot him in all these years I'm not going to let him go now. I just don't want to push him away if he's in a crisis, but I don't want to ignore him either I don't want to stress him.

 

[KwanYingirl]

It's enough for me that people want to understand what they can about PTSD. Unless you have it, you can't really know it deep inside. It defies logic. It is a brain/body injury with ramifications across the whole constellation of human experience. I get the limits that friends wish I could "just get over it". For many of us, our family is the root of our abuse and boy there is no talking to them!

This is a group of like minded people who support each other through the up and down roller coaster of PTSD.

Wishing your friend well, and I'm sure you'll develop a good perspective on this insidious condition.

 

[LittleRed]

My boyfriend knew about my ptsd before we committed to a relationship. The hardest thing for him as my partner was when there were weeks that I couldn't see my therapist. Do you know if he's seeing a therapist at all? Being someone's only support system can be really hard.
I think the best way to describe ptsd would be the cup theory and I recommend it to anyone learning about it: https://www.myptsd.com/threads/the-ptsd-cup-explanation.13737/

I hope reading this helps you out. My boyfriend still tells me that he's not sure what to do when I panic, and sometimes I'm too swept up in my own emotions to tell him what I need. I suggest having an open and honest talk about what he needs during those times when he can't tell you what he needs.

 

[Glara]

Yes he is in therapy and on meds. And I will check out the link you posted, thanks.

 

[intothelight]

@Glara Welcome to the forum!

Take some time and read the articles, but also most importantly, read some of the threads in the supporters section. Being involved with someone with PTSD has its unique stresses and it is important that you also take care of yourself.

 

[Aching65]

I find taking care of myself just totally impossible as all my energy is absorbed by me trying to figure out what is happening and to correct what I have done wrong. Initially I could not sleep for days, and even had to cancel a couple of days of work as I could not cope... Now i am focusing on educating myself. Sometimes what i read makes sense, sometimes it does not. But every day it just hurts so much, it is just unbearable... What I have I done to deserve that, And what has She done to deserve that, as I do understand she is no way responsible of what she is doing ... It is so tough..... Good luck @Glara