Sufferer New To Site

[WiseOwl]

hi all
I've only recently been diagnosed after years of feeling like a freak. I have complex PTSD. In short, my early experiences involved living in the middle of a civil war alongside childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence in families homes, my own narcissistic mother's hysterical dramas and emotional abuse, and later on living with an abusive husband.
I am unable to trust men and sabotage every potential relationship, I drink too much and recently when I tried to give up I lasted 10 days before the flashbacks started. I still find it difficult to believe this is my life. I'm 47 and look forward to the end of my life so there will be peace.xx

 

[ladee]

Welcome!. Glad you found us. Hoping you look around and read some of the threads on the forum that you can relate to.
Many people,many countries, many experiences.
Hope you find it supportive and very caring.
PTSD turns our world upside down. So it's very comforting to be among people that understand and relate.
Glad you are here.

 

[Finchlet2]

I used to think everyone in the world was out to just take what they could get. I started projecting my feelings towards my abusers onto the rest of the world. Having also been abused by multiple people I get how easy this is to do. Dont give up now you have survived the worst life can throw at you, its time for the good bits now you've just got to let them in what have you got to lose?

 

[Jensen]

Welcome @WiseOwl.
May you find many new friends here and the warmth you deserve. Your deeply honest introduction included a very forthright admission that you sabotaged potential relationships.

I am unable to trust men and sabotage every potential relationship

How you set about it might be entirey obvious but I would still love to hear from you what you actually did, or was it as a result of some subconscious feelings of self protection?
If it would be uncomfortable for you I fully understand,

 

[Sandstone]

I was diagnosed at the same age as you. My biggest advice is to learn all you can about PTSD, and to keep working on applying that knowledge. There is fantastic support here - I'm glad you found us. There is hope, and you have already shown you are strong enough to make it through the slog towards health.