Relationship New To This..not Sure What To Do

[turtlemama24]

My husband was diagnosed with PTSD last January. He wasn't nearly as bad as he is now. He was just having nightmares and he refused medication. Looking back, I see there was lots of symptoms here and there and I didn't know what it was.. just random things that didn't make sense to me at all. Things blew up on Father's Day and it has not gotten any better nor do I expect it to without treatment.. I am just totally lost on what to do and I realize this is so vague.. I'm so lost and freaking out!

Anyways, he did finally call for treatment but it's not for a few weeks. I have tried to get him to call his regular doctor and maybe he can get a medication or something. Medication which he seems totally against at this point.

This past week I have totally lost my husband somewhere. He needs constant reassurance that I'm not going to leave him. To the point where if I try to leave the house without him (even to work), he has a breakdown. Yesterday, he locked himself in the bedroom for an hour.. he was crying in a fetal position. He has voices, but they are his own voice and not an inside voice. I guess they are different personalities and he has named them. One is a lot of stronger than the other.. the one that brings him down and feeds the bad thoughts.

We have two little girls that he easily loses his temper with - he hasn't yet hurt them, but scared them. Even diaper changes can set him off and I'm scared he's going to hurt them. As I feel this would be a good reason to have us separate for a while.. I am also scared that it will make things 100x worse. He has flat out said he doesn't know what he would do if I left him.

He is very erratic with spending right now too.. He's a gamer and has to spend money on it or he will pout like a child. Even if it means we don't have money for food.

Now what do I do? I know his actions are being toxic to this family, but I also want to be supportive.. I guess I have no idea how to do that. It's really bringing me down emotionally and he can see that. Thanks in advance for any opinions on the matter.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Hi and welcome.

If he is hearing voices, I suggest a therapist who is trained in treating dissociative disorders in addition to PTSD as that level of dissociation appears to be beyond the scope of just PTSD. That is, if you haven't already.

I suggest that you learn more about setting boundaries with him. It is not acceptable that his children go hungry so that he can spend money on gaming. Even if he throws a fit, that is something you need to stand firm on.

I know you want to be supportive, but you have to consider the emotional safety of your kids. If he is constantly blowing up at them, they are going to grow up walking on eggshells in a constant state of anxiety. An adult could handle this better, but children are especially susceptible to such an environment as they are still developing. Only you know when the right time is to say enough is enough and leave, but I just want you to think about your kids well being.

I wish you the best.

 

[amethist]

Hi turtlemama24

You have to be strong here and set some serious boundaries.

One of them being he only games with money not put aside for anything else. If he sulks and pouts, then tough, he has to take responsibility and deal with it.

Two, he does not under any circumstances scare your girls, there is no excuse for scaring young children.

Three, he seeks help from his Dr now, not wait until he has treatment. You could say, I will support you, if you support yourself, which means doing X,Y and Z.

Sometimes you do have to be strong and stand up to them, its not easy and it will take practice, but you will thank yourself in the end, which ever way it goes.

You and your girls should be your first priority.

 

[turtlemama24]

Thank you for the advice. He did end up going to the dr today and was prescribed an antipsychotic.