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CaringMomma
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Thank you, Froggie!
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Newbie Dx With Ptsd About A Year Ago After Suffering For 35 Years.
- Thread starter CaringMomma
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Hi and welcome to the forum Shawn! I'm sorry that you have to suffer with PTSD, but glad you found us ;o) You find lots of caring support and understanding here. Visit the wiki pages for information that you may find helpful too. When you feel comfortable start sharing your story. You'll find many here who have experienced similar things I am sure.
I totally understand trying to balance faith in God with the experiences that resulted in PTSD. Praise Him that He is big enough to handle the doubts and anger I sometimes feel! His arms are always open and his shoulder there.
Anyway....welcome to the forum. I look forward to getting to know you!
I totally understand trying to balance faith in God with the experiences that resulted in PTSD. Praise Him that He is big enough to handle the doubts and anger I sometimes feel! His arms are always open and his shoulder there.
Anyway....welcome to the forum. I look forward to getting to know you!
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- #15
CaringMomma
Platinum Member
Thank you, very much, for your welcome, Iam!!! I'm grateful to know that their are several others, here, that share my faith in Christ.
My story starts when I was 4 years old. My sister and I were at a babysitters house when I witnessed her falling into a scalding tub of water. Although I do not remember the event, in my subconcious I hear blood curdling screams and see my sisters skin boil up and start to fall off of her. I thought she was going to die and I thought it was my fault. My mom had to have skin graphs done to replace some of her skin. She has scars over 60% of her body! I lived every day of my life, since then, seeing my sisters scars as a constant reminder, the many surgeries, skin graphs, to allow her to grow, and the constant guilt. The family dynamic was drastically changed. I became the perpatrator, the black sheep.
The next traumatic event occured just after my sisters accident, when I was molested by a female family member. To this day, I cannot see the face of my molester, but I feel how dirty and violated I was.
Shortly after that I remember my mom taking me to see, wait for it, "Jaws". Yes, that terrifying movie. It horrified me and I will never forget not being able to escape the sounds and the images coming from the screen. I tried to leave the theatre but was told by an employee that I can't keep walking in and out of the theatre. Then, sitting next to my mother, I kept my eyes to the floor and covered my ears to keep out as much of the sound as possible.
A few years later my mom remarried. I was waiting to cross the road with my younger step-brother and step-sister. I was holding both their hands when my step-brother yanked his hand from mine and he darted out into the road where he was struck by a large truck that sent him skidding on the concrete for about 15 yards. I started screaming until my step-dad came from the house. He hated me from that day forward. I can still see his little body being hit like a rag doll and hear the screeching of the tires on the concrete.
This covers about 6 years! There's more to come. I'm just tired of thinking about this stuff.
My story starts when I was 4 years old. My sister and I were at a babysitters house when I witnessed her falling into a scalding tub of water. Although I do not remember the event, in my subconcious I hear blood curdling screams and see my sisters skin boil up and start to fall off of her. I thought she was going to die and I thought it was my fault. My mom had to have skin graphs done to replace some of her skin. She has scars over 60% of her body! I lived every day of my life, since then, seeing my sisters scars as a constant reminder, the many surgeries, skin graphs, to allow her to grow, and the constant guilt. The family dynamic was drastically changed. I became the perpatrator, the black sheep.
The next traumatic event occured just after my sisters accident, when I was molested by a female family member. To this day, I cannot see the face of my molester, but I feel how dirty and violated I was.
Shortly after that I remember my mom taking me to see, wait for it, "Jaws". Yes, that terrifying movie. It horrified me and I will never forget not being able to escape the sounds and the images coming from the screen. I tried to leave the theatre but was told by an employee that I can't keep walking in and out of the theatre. Then, sitting next to my mother, I kept my eyes to the floor and covered my ears to keep out as much of the sound as possible.
A few years later my mom remarried. I was waiting to cross the road with my younger step-brother and step-sister. I was holding both their hands when my step-brother yanked his hand from mine and he darted out into the road where he was struck by a large truck that sent him skidding on the concrete for about 15 yards. I started screaming until my step-dad came from the house. He hated me from that day forward. I can still see his little body being hit like a rag doll and hear the screeching of the tires on the concrete.
This covers about 6 years! There's more to come. I'm just tired of thinking about this stuff.
What horrible, tragic events Shawn. You were too young to be able to process all of that without help and it certainly doesn't sound as if you received it.
I can relate to the "Jaws" movie experience. My parents took me to see "Rosemary's Baby" when I was 8 years old. It had a profound negative effect on my life. The sexual molestation too. I was raped at knife point when I was 7 years old, suffered numerous molestations and stranger exposures. Along with severe domestic violence. It all adds up.
I know how hard it is to write this stuff, but it is important. You might want to take a look at the diary section here and start your own diary. Read the sticky at the top first though.
(((HUGS)))
I can relate to the "Jaws" movie experience. My parents took me to see "Rosemary's Baby" when I was 8 years old. It had a profound negative effect on my life. The sexual molestation too. I was raped at knife point when I was 7 years old, suffered numerous molestations and stranger exposures. Along with severe domestic violence. It all adds up.
I know how hard it is to write this stuff, but it is important. You might want to take a look at the diary section here and start your own diary. Read the sticky at the top first though.
(((HUGS)))
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- #17
CaringMomma
Platinum Member
Hi Iam! Thank you for sharing some of your story with me. I will have a look at the diary section.
Marie E.
Diamond Member
Welcome to the Forum Shawn!! Boy, am I glad you are here! Sorry to hear about your bad experiences! *Hugs*
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- #19
CaringMomma
Platinum Member
Hugs right back atcha!!!
<Quote above reply removed by Amethist>
<Quote above reply removed by Amethist>
Marie E.
Diamond Member
Awwww Thanks!! I needed that!
BloomInWinter
VIP Member
(((((Shawn)))))
Welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry for all you have endured.
May you find comfort, support, and healing.
Your story is horrific. You are not to blame.
You're doing a great job getting this out!
Welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry for all you have endured.
May you find comfort, support, and healing.
Your story is horrific. You are not to blame.
You're doing a great job getting this out!
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- #22
CaringMomma
Platinum Member
Thank you, very much, Bloomin! I will share more of my story as I can get it out.
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- #24
CaringMomma
Platinum Member
Does anybody know how to change the mood thingy? Or is that something that comes later?
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