Relationship Newcomer. How To Help Partner With Ptsd/trauma?

[kellieS.]

I have been with my significant other for about 10 years now. A year or so into our relationship he was victim to a very violent trauma. His father was brutally murdered in front of him in which he had to fend the attacker off. He has never received professional attention for what he went through.. there was a funeral and then that was that. The only person that has ever been there for him through the pain has been me. The rage and tears.

He has struggled with anger issues but has over time become manageable and less frequent. It can still come out though if he gets very drunk which does not happen very often. I feel he may suffer from a mild form of PTSD because if he, for instance, see's something violent on TV or feels any kind of confrontation occurring he breaks into a sweat and becomes sort of on edge. He is obviously still suffering deeply inside because of what he witnessed.. based on the things he says sometimes. He is just suffering in silence now.

I am unsure of how and where to get him help. It's sort of a miracle he has stayed as stable as he has.. He is very strong willed I think that is what attests to his not completely breaking down. but I think he could really benefit from some kind of healing.. and I think there is only so much I can provide when it comes to comfort which seems to be where we are now. I would appreciate any advice and direction.. I don't have money for a therapist which I would do if I did.

Please let me know any thoughts.

Thank you

 

[CVC]

I have to say, I think it's hard to get someone to face or work through their traumas. I do feel like it's one of those things that people do have to decide for themselves. I also do think it's fair for you to express your concern for him. And, you can offer to be there for him if he ever wants any kind of support on this now or in the future. Beyond that, I'm not so sure... I think the motivation has to come from within.

Whatever level of investment your significant other decides to make in working through his traumatic past, he is lucky to have someone as caring and concerned as you are supporting him along the way. Be sure your needs are getting met too.

 

[kellieS.]

Thank you for sharing. I agree with your assessment.. our relationship is a very close one and we support each other.. so I can say for the most part my needs are met. It just hurts to know he suffers.. but you are right.. I'll let him know how I feel and when he is ready he will reach out for help.