When I was diagnosed I was asked if there were any times in my life where I felt as though my safety was threatened or viewed a catastrophic event or was ever abused or neglected. Many random things popped into my head -- memories of times when I felt very scared and alone, but not one specific incident that can be pinpointed as THE cause of my PTSD.... considering my first experience is from when I was almost 2 years old, I've been dealing with this for a very very very long time.
I have a twin sister who, at 14 months old, caught a virus that ended up stopping her heart and causing her to develop Cerebral Palsy. I have a LOT of survivor's guilt regarding that situation that I am only now starting to reluctantly acknowledge and work through.
I have a mother who has always been very selfish and immature. I was the parent in our little family until my mom abandoned my sister and I to party on the other side of the country. I spent my whole growing up years taking on the role of protecting and being responsible for both my sister and my mother.
I was raised by my grandmother who was AMAZING. That being said, the fact that my sister was disabled meant that I spend 90% of my time alone in my room trying not to be a bother in any way. I never learned to ride a bike, swim, drive, dance, rollerblade etc. because my sister couldn't do any of that stuff, so nobody tooke the time to teach me for fear that my sister would be upset that I could do something she couldn't.
I suppose this introduction has gone on for a while.... Mostly I just wanted to mention my situation, I have been through an intensive inpatient anxiety/depression program twice which taught me a lot, but I have not been treated for PTSD and I'm currently on a 5 year wait list for that program.
I ran my own support group for 2 years that had an average of 6-8 regulars so I'm familiar with being supportive while empowering and relating my own experience to another's rather than advice giving.
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I have a twin sister who, at 14 months old, caught a virus that ended up stopping her heart and causing her to develop Cerebral Palsy. I have a LOT of survivor's guilt regarding that situation that I am only now starting to reluctantly acknowledge and work through.
I have a mother who has always been very selfish and immature. I was the parent in our little family until my mom abandoned my sister and I to party on the other side of the country. I spent my whole growing up years taking on the role of protecting and being responsible for both my sister and my mother.
I was raised by my grandmother who was AMAZING. That being said, the fact that my sister was disabled meant that I spend 90% of my time alone in my room trying not to be a bother in any way. I never learned to ride a bike, swim, drive, dance, rollerblade etc. because my sister couldn't do any of that stuff, so nobody tooke the time to teach me for fear that my sister would be upset that I could do something she couldn't.
I suppose this introduction has gone on for a while.... Mostly I just wanted to mention my situation, I have been through an intensive inpatient anxiety/depression program twice which taught me a lot, but I have not been treated for PTSD and I'm currently on a 5 year wait list for that program.
I ran my own support group for 2 years that had an average of 6-8 regulars so I'm familiar with being supportive while empowering and relating my own experience to another's rather than advice giving.
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