Sufferer Newly Diagnosed Complex Ptsd Saying Hi

[OTtrees]

Hi,

I have recently been diagnosed with complex PTSD following 18 years of an emotionally abusive marriage that I left a year ago. I work in psychiatry and was unable to recognise the symptoms in myself (although in hindsight I think I was in denial) until a work colleague sat me down and I confided in him what was happening. I still feel like I'm in a 'fog' although am hypervigilant a lot of the time and have dreadful night terrors which leave me feeling exhausted all day - I wondered whether other sufferers question themselves daily as to whether this is really happening? I often feel like I'm watching myself and feel emotionally numb - cannot cope with any small amount of stress (although I'm experiencing a dreadful divorce which has been protracted and hostile+) and often cry for no reason. I am angry at myself a lot of the time for not escaping earlier and frustrated that I can't seem to move on despite being happier in my life now I'm away from a controlling bully.

 

[intothelight]

Hi OTrees,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum. Even if you work in psychiatry, unless you are a psychiatrist (and even if you are) most people do not recognize the symptoms in themselves. It is common to know that something "isn't right"; but not uncommon to not know what it is.

Complex trauma happens over a period of time (Complex PTSD isn't recognized as an official diagnosis in the DSM) and involves many events. Abusive marriages take their toll over time and I believe you will find many here who have similar experiences and symptoms. But being removed from the abusive situation and with therapy, much healing can take place.

I hope you find this site helpful in your healing journey.

Debbie

 

[Lucycat]

Hi OTtrees,

I too have been diagnosed with Complex PTSD ( by a psychiatrist). Before diagnosis I thought I was going mad. The notion of being in a fog is so accurate. For such a long time I had not recognised the numbing of emotions. I thought I was coping !

Now that you have accepted the diagnosis, the healing can begin.

I am guessing from your username that you are an OT. Would I be correct?
EDIT: I have just read your profile and see I am right. Should have looked first before I posted LOL!)

Best wishes,
Lucy x

 

[SpeedOfLife]

Hello OTtrees

Welcome. Same here - C-PTSD from a 20+ year marriage to a Borderline personality.

Given time, you'll start coming back to yourself. It's not easy, but it can be done. Good luck!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi and welcome. You are normal for what you have been through. I wish you well. I hope that soon you will be getting a meassure of relief from your symptoms. It will take some time to get used to this place but it is a good place. Lots of help and support here.

 

[Spiderallis]

Hi- I can somewhat relate, I was in my senior year of studying psychology when I left school to be isolated in an abusive marriage. It's hard to see yourself accurately, that's why self-diagnosis is such a big no-no. When you're in a situation like that day-to-day it tricks you into thinking that's just how life is. I hope you're not being hard on yourself, it takes a lot of courage to do what you're doing. I know exactly what you mean about the 'is this really happening?' feeling, you're not alone at all. Sometimes it's like watching a really bad movie, seeing myself from that distance- I found a cord attaching me to that person I see, maybe you have one too? I'm trying to follow mine back into that far-away someone that looks like me.