Sufferer Newly Diagnosed Ptsd After Domestic Violence

[Sunshine_and_hope]

Hi, I'm new to this site. I thought it might help me as I have been diagnosed with PTSD and after completing a course of high intensity CBT I'm due to start A combo treatment of EMDR, CBT and exposure therapy. I'm just looking for people who have been through similar as me, sometimes I feel like the only one :(

I was with my ex partner at 20, fell pregnant and have birth at 21 to my beautiful daughter. The first time he hurt me I was 7 months pregnant and vulnerable. To cut a long story short the abuse I suffered for nearly 4 years after my daughters birth is horrific... Apart from being strangled, punched, stabbed, broken bones it was also the emotional abuse. I escaped finally and spent the next two years fighting for my daughters therapy as she witnessed everything. I knew I had been affected and struggled day to day but I didn't have any energy for myself after throwing everything I had towards my precious girl. Anyways nearly a year ago after being fled from the area for 8 months I was summoned to court as he wants contact.

This seemed the final straw and broke me. Everything I had been failing to keep inside tumbled out. I have been diagnosed with PTSD after seeing a psychatrist thinking I had bi-polar. This was a total shock as I'm not in the army... I haven't been a victim of childhood abuse.

I'm nervous about the EMDR and exposure therapy as it's going to make me worse before I get better. Has anyone else had these therapies? Honest opinions please...

My symptoms used to included paralysing flashbacks, but now they only come to me in my nightmares and always centre around my ex hurting me.
I used to have extreme panic attacks when outside but used headphones and music to eventually help this to stop, I'm still hyper vigilant though on the look out all the time. Some symptoms perplex me and I'm looking for options:
1) pain in the places I've been injured that comes and goes partially when I am thinking about what I went through.
2) insomnia... It feels like when the nightmares hit crescendo level I couldn't sleep for days like I'm so unconsciously Afraid to fall asleep I can't...
3) since the daytime flashbacks have stopped my memories are fading quickley. If I try to recall a situation it's like wading through thick smog, but when I read a few words of my statement they flood back with stunning clarity. This happened after i had reached my lowest point emotionally and literally felt like I couldn't cope. Could this be my minds way of shutting off to protect me?
I understand most of us aren't professionals but I am so confused an scared, so I value any opinions. Thank you x

 

[RussH]

Hi Sunshine and hope. Welcome to the forum. I did move your thread to introductions so other members can meet you.

 

[Justmehere]

Hi! Welcome to the forums. I have done exposure therapy and EMDR. EMDR was harder afterwards, as it could stir up a lot for me. I ended up switching to somatic experiencing instead. Exposure therapy was harder than EMDR to do, but I didn't ever leave it feeling bad. That was just my experience. They were all worth it to try and stock to for awhile because the relief over the long haul has been amazing.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I have not started EMDR yet as I am not stable enough, but it will be soon. Your story is so tragic. I am so glad to read that you got away. You are BRAVE! When I was being physically and verbally abused by an ex boyfriend I went to the domestic violence center and got tremendous support there. I finally went to the police and they got him out of my house. Now I see him at my office building or following me in the grocery store. I am beyond hyper vigilant. Your ex is fishing for someone to violate. That's what they do. No more. Fight for supervised visitation for your daughter. Fight like your life depends on it. He will poison her with his violence . Take her and flee if you have to. You have x-rays of your injuries right? If you need legal help reach out to your local DV agency, they will help you and give you shelter if you need to flee.
Soldiers get PTSD from relatively short term exposure to death. DV is so pervasive it is someone who should be protecting you not threatening you. Summon all the courage you can and fight the basterd. Hopefully he doesn't have any weapons. In either event your best support is your DV agency, police reports and a lawyer. Demand the court gives your daughter a Guardian ad litum to protect her from him. Keep us posted!

 

[ghotiff]

Welcome :)

Pain where you were hurt is not uncommon (from what I understand). A good book is "the body remembers" by Rothschild. Maybe this would help you.

 

[intothelight]

@Sunshine_and_hope Welcome to the forum! :)

I too have experienced domestic violence and will leave out the sordid details. I did Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectic Behavioral Therapy and exposure therapy during the course of my treatment. Exposure therapy was uncomfortable, but it was one of those things where each time I pushed the boundary of "comfort" and it became easier until eventually I could go certain places without experiencing discomfort.

There is a lot of information on here about EMDR and the importance of being fairly stable and having the ability to manage the symptoms that are increased from this type of therapy.

I hope you find the information and support here beneficial to your healing.

 

[kirk86]

Hello, I can't help I'm.sorry but my situation was awfuly simular to yours, your not alone x