Hello Skye3. I am new to this forum but I have had years of experience with PTSD as a sufferer and my wife as a carer. I was a police officer for 23 years and was medically retired due to the PTSD. I have been retired for about 2 years, now. Although, it sounds like your trauma is different from mine, the result is similar. I agree with everything that has been posted from responders to you. It is imperitive that you talk about and release the strangle hold your brain has on your memory of the trauma. You have to find a therapist that you are comfortable with and TRUST. If you don't trust them, you will never be able to completely be honest and open up. I have had several different therapists over the years but never really trusted most of them. The one that I did have a connection with ended up leaving civilian practice and returning to the military to treat soldiers. You may have to have a Psychologist and a Psychiatrist, the difference is one is a medical doctor and the other is a doctor of phsychology. The Psychiatrist can prescribe medication, which in my case was a savior. I have chronic and severe anxiety, depression and several other syndromes that are related to the stress and PTSD. The medication only partially relieves the symptoms, they are always ther for me. I was told that I have severe and chronic PTSD and may never improve. That is the result of not knowing how to cope with the stress to begin with and then continuing to file it away and never dealing with it. Now that you know what is going on, you can do something about it. That alone can be a release.
I know that in my case there was one incident that was a trigger that started my symptoms (I had to shoot an armed assailant). You may also have had a trigger. If you don't know what that was, I would work on that and then work your way backwards. As has already been said, memory is difficult for me. I can be in mid sentence and forget what I was talking about. One of the things that I have tried that helps is meditation. Clear your mind of the stress, don't think about anything, just relax. It may help your memory and congnitive ability. Remember that what you talk about to your therapist is confidential and can only be released with your permisssion (disclaimer: every state has different laws related to doctor patient confidentiality, check locally where you are to see what those say). Talking to people about your "label" is a judgement call. I was retired and I am not able to work anymore so talking to someone about it, I don't care and it really can't hurt me. I wouldn't go yelling at the top of your lungs about PTSD but you should be able to speak with someone you trust and are close to. But they have to be able to understand what it is that you went through before they are going to be of any help. Unfortunately, PTSD causes many of us to become alienated because people don't understand and don't know how to help. I have cops that don't understand what I am talking about and it makes me angry so that isn't helpful. As far as your family and kids, your spouse has to be supportive of your situation and needs knowledge of what you are going through and why. I would suggest that they attend either training or therapy sessions with you. If I hadn't had my wife over the last 2 years, I probably wouldn't be alive at this point. As for your kids, it depends on their age. If they are old enough to understand, you may want to talk with them about PTSD and try and explain why you sometimes act the way we do. That is how I handled it with my son. He was about 13 or so when I was diagnosed. Educate yourself. There are many books out there that are written about different kinds of PTSD and how they relate to your specific trauma. Ask questions of your therapist. If they arent' willing to explain and answer questions, then I would look for a different one. Remember, you are not crazy and you can get better and there are others out here that are suffering with you. I apologize for writing a book but there is so much that can't be said in short. If I can be of any help, please contact me.
dpd95058
I know that in my case there was one incident that was a trigger that started my symptoms (I had to shoot an armed assailant). You may also have had a trigger. If you don't know what that was, I would work on that and then work your way backwards. As has already been said, memory is difficult for me. I can be in mid sentence and forget what I was talking about. One of the things that I have tried that helps is meditation. Clear your mind of the stress, don't think about anything, just relax. It may help your memory and congnitive ability. Remember that what you talk about to your therapist is confidential and can only be released with your permisssion (disclaimer: every state has different laws related to doctor patient confidentiality, check locally where you are to see what those say). Talking to people about your "label" is a judgement call. I was retired and I am not able to work anymore so talking to someone about it, I don't care and it really can't hurt me. I wouldn't go yelling at the top of your lungs about PTSD but you should be able to speak with someone you trust and are close to. But they have to be able to understand what it is that you went through before they are going to be of any help. Unfortunately, PTSD causes many of us to become alienated because people don't understand and don't know how to help. I have cops that don't understand what I am talking about and it makes me angry so that isn't helpful. As far as your family and kids, your spouse has to be supportive of your situation and needs knowledge of what you are going through and why. I would suggest that they attend either training or therapy sessions with you. If I hadn't had my wife over the last 2 years, I probably wouldn't be alive at this point. As for your kids, it depends on their age. If they are old enough to understand, you may want to talk with them about PTSD and try and explain why you sometimes act the way we do. That is how I handled it with my son. He was about 13 or so when I was diagnosed. Educate yourself. There are many books out there that are written about different kinds of PTSD and how they relate to your specific trauma. Ask questions of your therapist. If they arent' willing to explain and answer questions, then I would look for a different one. Remember, you are not crazy and you can get better and there are others out here that are suffering with you. I apologize for writing a book but there is so much that can't be said in short. If I can be of any help, please contact me.
dpd95058
