Nhs

[Meadowsweet]

Ok, I wrote a list of things I need to know and things I'd like to mention. I can feel myself getting really worked up about this, and I feel like it makes a difference. At my GP appointment I went into panic and garbled out what I wanted to say. At the assessment appointment, I had to pick kids up from a friends straight afterwards, so I was so afraid of going to bits and coming out all red eyed, that I kept the barriers up and held back. This appointment is to decide on a course of treatment and treatment goals and stuff, so just want to get it right so that I get the right treatment for me.

Things I need to knw.
Their diagnosis and what this means for me.
The qualification/experience of whoever will treat me and whether they have specific knowledge of trauma.
What happens at the end of the treatment that is prescribed initially.

I feel like I would benefit from some individual therapy sessions to help me to accept the trauma, to help me find some sensible thoughts to replace the negative thoughts of myself and to help me find ways to manage more severe symptoms when they occur unexpectedly.

But I think, with the inside stuff more in hand, some group work to build some confidence, or practise being more assertive with people would help. But will cross that bridge as and when.

My biggest fears are that I'll speak of really sensitive stuff and not be understood. With friends, my attempts at reaching out have been twisted and turned into something totally different than what I'm attempting to say. I know my words come out muddled or I hold back the bit that will make sense of what I'm saying. But my worst scenario would be having to say to a therapist "no, thats not what I meant.." etc. It makes me feel psychologically trapped.

But also, I feel the biggest drawback could be me minimising things, or trying to say what I think the therapist wants me to say. But I also fear making things sound much worse than they are. Thats something I can't measure, and I need to trust the therapists experience about.

I also wrote down things that I must mention. At my GP and assessment appointment, I mentioned that my symptoms involved the attack in 2006, but I didn't go into details or mention its relevance to previous abuse or the people that enabled or covered up the attack.

KP thankyou for your help and encouragement in writing this list. And any additions or suggestions of what I might have missed are very welcome. Not that I'm panicking or anything :eek:

 

[KP the nut]

(((MS))), deep breaths, you are doing great.

Remember, if you feel panicked and can't find the words, allow whoever is assessing you to read your list.

I'll be at your side holding your hand.

 

[cat]

Meadowsweet - try not to worry to much about what you need to say or do. Your assessor will understand how difficult it is to 'tell all' & you wont be expected to do that at your first appointment. I imagine they will just take notes on your history & symptoms you have in order to make a treatment plan for you.

Deciding on the type of therapy that is right for you takes time & trial & error, often resulting in using a range of therapies over time. For instance, when i met my T, I was sure that from all I'd read about it a few sessions of EMDR would put me right, how wrong was I!! we used a range of therapies as my needs changed.

But also, I feel the biggest drawback could be me minimising things, or trying to say what I think the therapist wants me to say. But I also fear making things sound much worse than they are. Thats something I can't measure, and I need to trust the therapists experience about

As you build trust in your T you will find it easier to engage in therapy & will be able to discuss your worries about therapy with him/her.

Try to go into therapy with an open mind, your T will be experienced in working with new clients & understand how difficult these first meetings are.

Something that helped me through therapy was a suggestion from my T. After the session try to allow an hour to yourself, go for cake (the biggest slice of course!) & coffee, a walk in the park, anything to give you time to concentrate on your grounding techniques rather than dashing around & not acknowledging what you are feeling. Write down your thoughts & feelings, it will helpful to take to your next session & discuss with your T.

I wish you all good luck for tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you.:)

 

[Meadowsweet]

Thankyou for the support. I am feeling quite sick this morning and I know its silly.

 

[Loloma]

(((((MS))))) I wish you all the best.

The same system applies in Holland with MH. First you go to the GP and if necessary you get referred for first help therapy. That is a T in the medical practise itself. You get up to ten sessions I believe and at the end they decide if ongoing treatment is needed. The T sends the recommendation to the GP. The GP sends the that on to the MHS and they contact you for an initial assessment. My only criticism is that you end up having to tell the same story up to three times to strangers.

Now I had that on 1 February and a couple of days ago I received a letter saying there was a two month waiting list and they will let me know when they can see me. This has been going on since November last year. If you don't put out a cry for help or are suicidal you wait. My feeling is there must be a lot of sick people out there.

Australia is different you go to the GP, if he thinks you need it he refers you to a Psychiatrist. Maybe a month wait depended on your situation. Sure you have to pay for it which is round AUD150 plus and you get about 75% back from Medicare.

 

[KP the nut]

(((MS))), remember you are not on your own.

Linking arms.

 

[Meadowsweet]

Loloma, I was worried about having to tell the same story. But after the initial assessment, the assessor summarises the story and sends a copy to me and to the next person. So she already knew the basics.

I was relieved that she was unrushed. I think I was worried that being the NHS, it would be a time is money attitude, and I would be rushed through a system. The other positive is that she doesn't like tick boxes. She explained that has to do them because thats the system, but she recognises the flaws in them and that gives me reassurance that she puts more emphasis on listening to the person than to text books. There are things I'm not sure about her, but trust is a process.

I was reassured by the contiual assessment. This week she focussed mostly on getting to understand my symtoms, the severity and how I'm effected. She gave me a choice to talk about the trauma this week or not. I chose not to, so she says we'll continue with the assessment in a fortnight. And I've got to do a timeline of incidents for her. I think this will make it easier for me to talk.

She also said that if after next session, we decide CBT is right for me, she would begin with six sessions and reasess the treatment on session 5. So I'm reassured that treatment and its effectiveness is constantly being re-evalued. Also, therapists meet with the mental health team leader (psychiatrist) fortnightly, to evaluate cases and treatment.

Thanks to all for support.

 

[Loloma]

MS, pleased that it is not so daunting for you after all. Like you say trust is a process.

I really do wish you all the best. I would like to comment more but I seem to be in a perpetual state of confusion presently and can't find the right words.

 

[KP the nut]

I was relieved that she was unrushed. I think I was worried that being the NHS, it would be a time is money attitude, and I would be rushed through a system. The other positive is that she doesn't like tick boxes. She explained that has to do them because thats the system, but she recognises the flaws in them and that gives me reassurance that she puts more emphasis on listening to the person than to text books. There are things I'm not sure about her, but trust is a process.

(((MS))), I am so pleased you are finally seeing someone.

As you know, my T was NHS. He was amazing and I never felt rushed, I could even contact him between appointments.

I think once you are in the system and being seen it is fine - the struggle is to get to that stage.

Wishing you peace
KP