Thanks so much to both of you.
I am really feeling in limbo here - like our relationship is really at a crossroads. I haven't seen him since the bad sleepwalking event last weekend. I wrote him a lot of emails about getting treatment (I don't think I went overboard, but I really wanted to made clear how I felt, how important it is to me). He had said he would go to the VA. Then when I asked if/when he'd make the appointment, he said that he wants to get his thoughts together first, and that I shouldn't push him. I was afraid of this - that, once again (it's a pattern), he'll wait till he's feeling better, and then do nothing. Of course, I hope I am wrong!
So, when we talked (emailed) about whether to get together this weekend, he said he didn't want me to push him and give him advice "every minute" and get all "frantic." He said he didn't want to come up to my place if he was going to come "as an invalid" and if I would worry about him all the time.
So I wrote him that i guessed we should wait. I also said i was done pushing him, for now, that I had said what I wanted to say, and that he knew how I felt. I asked him to let me know when he had made the appointment. (He actually might make the app't - it's following up that will be the hard part...)
Today, he said he wanted to come up; but I (reluctantly - oh boy does it make me sad...) said i thought we should still wait.
I gather your that partner(s) retain some consciousness when they go through these things, and you can communicate with them (reassure them, guide them back to bed). That would be nice, that would change everything. I am afraid my guy just might not end up willing to try therapy or medication or any other type of treament. It breaks my heart to say that, because i now feel it might spell the end of our relationship, and our relationship is the most important thing in my life, it is the thing that gives me the most pleasure in my life. I hope I, or something/someone, can get through to him. :-(
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While I was re-reading this, he called and we actually had a long conversation about all this. It started by his asking what i was doing - so I told him I was reading/writing on this site. I've told him about the website a lot (including a couple times this week), but it never sinks in and he has never taken my advice about going on himself. Anyway, i read your letters to him, as well as an email to me from a friend saying similar things - he is not good at following things (and I was nervous and reading quickly!), and I know he missed a lot - but I think he got the gist of it, and he seemed to respond well. We talked more about the episodes last weekend (he asked to hear about them again), and what might have triggered them. He said he'd be going to the V.A. next week. I think it was a good conversation. Here's hoping... I feel a little more hopeful... (and I realize how hugely that affects my mood - I was down in the depth of sadness/depression)
Thank you again so much.
