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nightmares about people who didn't assault me

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foxrye

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One thing I've been curious about for a while is that I have more nightmares about my parents and step parent than I do about the person who actually sexually assaulted me. I might've had 1 or 2 about the actual person who hurt me, for comparison. Like, I was relieved when I had a nightmare only about a stranger (who I met for the first time later that day, weirdly? He was my doctor and had to check my throat, which was uncomfortable to say the least as that's something my nightmare was relating to).

I thought maybe my head wishes it was them because it would be easier to think of them as bad people or something. The person who hurt me was my little cousin, a few years younger, so it is complicated to think about as kids don't tend to know this shit without something bad happening to them to my knowledge (at least before the internet).

But it's true that I feel my mum could've done anything to protect me from this in the first place, so it might be related to that too. However, my dad and step parent weren't even around at the time, so it isn't like they could've done anything to protect me. They were both living a significant distance away.

I've been wondering if anyone else has experienced this or something similar with nightmares.
 
yup, starting when i was a kid. a recurring theme among abused children is that they often *accuse* the people who tried the hardest to help them through the trauma. i theorate that their instincts seek help rather than risking further hurt by uttering the name of their abuser. they simply lack the clear vocabulary to say so. i believe my own projective nightmares are attached to that phenom. just believing. proof unavailable.
 
yup, starting when i was a kid. a recurring theme among abused children is that they often *accuse* the people who tried the hardest to help them through the trauma. i theorate that their instincts seek help rather than risking further hurt by uttering the name of their abuser. they simply lack the clear vocabulary to say so. i believe my own projective nightmares are attached to that phenom. just believing. proof unavailable.
It's interesting what our brains can do, even though I wish there wasn't a reason for us to have do head gymnastics to avoid anymore hurt after trauma. I hope your nightmares can get better for you over time, they aren't at all pleasant to experience.
 
It's interesting what our brains can do, even though I wish there wasn't a reason for us to have do head gymnastics to avoid anymore hurt after trauma. I hope your nightmares can get better for you over time, they aren't at all pleasant to experience.

i am happy to report that it has been quite a number of years since i have had more than the occasional, isolated nightmare. still far from pleasant, but no sleep deprivation. conscious processing of the undesired events and emotions worked for me far better than wishing for a different past.

steadying support while you find your way to a restorative rest.
 
I've had a lot of sexual assault nightmares with random people I don't know. I'm not sure if it's my brain trying to tell me I was raped but it's too difficult to show it happening with the person who I know abused me or if the nightmares actually don't mean anything. I did last night have a dream about being given 'slightly inappropriate pictures of me and grandad' but I was too scared to look at them. It's like my brain is being like I keep giving you information but you're too scared to look at it. I hadn't even been thinking about the nightmares for a bit cause I was studying and the picture dream happened the night after another assault nightmare.
 
I think sometimes in dreams you see yourself being abused and that is the main part but since it's a dream and things tend to get muddled up, details might change like the person though I think the person changing is much more likely to happen in a nightmare than a flashback when you're awake.
 
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