No Affection

[TIFFk]

I have never read that before but I will check it out . I would think that maybe he just isn't affectionate but he was very affectionate before we became committed ...we had been seeing each other for about a year before we became committed and he would always put his arm around me lay his hand on my leg when we watched movies etc. he would take me out to eat or to the movies ..on road trips we had a great time together...we have been committed for a year and a half now and since then we have only been out together ONE time in a whole year an a half..I have invited him to countless events with me none of which he has attended ...I have asked him if we could go for a ride like we use to do and he always says he doesn't feel like it but the next day while I'm working he will go on cruises with his friends or go out to eat and have drinks with them...I'm not opposed to having "guy time"...I'm opposed to having 99% more guy time than girlfriend time ..,...I use to talk to him about these things id say "I miss going on cruises" or "will you sit with me on the couch " I'd say "hey I have coupons for Applebee's we should go" always a no...finally I said "why don't you want to do anything with me anymore" the replie was " I'm just so depressed I don't feel like doing anything" I said "you go out with your friends though" (not in a rude tone) ...he said " your always working when I'm in a good mood" then he said "ya know I realize I ignore you when your around and completely shut you off ,I know that I hurt you and I never do anything even slightly romantic for you and I'm sorry.....when you call me out for it I feel like a dirtbag and hate my life even more"....so after that conversation I am afraid I only make him feel guilty when I tell him I want affection...he once randomly told me that I was the best girlfriend he has ever had and that he knows he's gonna mess it up ...he said I can't get close to you because you'll either cheat on me or blow up

 

[Wastinglight]

one time while he was in a deep sleep he put his arm around me ,because this is sooooooooo rare ,when I woke up to this and my alarm going off I refused to get up and skipped work just because I was being touched by him...

Hehe, this made me giggle a bit. I know this is an old thread, but I just wanted to share that I feel like this sometimes too. Over the past week, my guy is a bit withdrawn and physical affection that lasts more than 10 seconds is just not happening with us. I live for the nights that I stay over at his place, because I get extended cuddles from him when he's asleep or half-awake. I am a very touchy-feely person and I can't get enough of it!

Your guy might just need more time. I agree with the other posters than it's worth discussing this in a non-confrontational way though, to make sure you're both on the same page.

I can't really comment on the going out thing. My guy never wants to go out for dinner or that kind of thing. But he was very upfront about it, and told me even before we started going out. I think it might trigger his anxiety. He doesn't go out with his friends either though. Going out socially is just something he doesn't do. At least for now.

If your guy is going out with other people but not you, I'd say that warrants a conversation. It doesn't seem fair. I don't think I would be okay with that. Hope it's going well since you last posted :)