GrayOwl
Gold Member
I'll weigh in.
Agree. 100%.
People are generally all about themselves.
Even good people who try not to be.
It's just human nature and human instinct.
Hard part? Finding someone who is a quality individual, who can care and empathize about others before the age of 162, being able to recognize these rare characteristics in others, being patient enough to wait for someone who just might have them, having wisdom enough to see through all the bullshit while sorting through the bodies, and not being 163 years old by the time that person comes along.
That sounds depressing, doesn't it?
How do I get over it?
I'm 60. I outlived the testosterone years. OMG. What a cruel joke on humanity.
But hey, find some good coping mechanisms - not alcohol or drugs or gambling or whatever.
Find one or two good friends, of either sex, that you can relate to, and once in a while count on.
Go do positive, enjoyable things that count in life: a movie, work out, camping, hiking, service work especially. The positives that come from listening and working with others are immeasurable in ways we hardly imagine - and they lead toward quality people, experiences, and relationships. Our modern media (tv, ads, fb.......) all tell us we need a Budweiser and instant gratification, or life isn't worth living! Bullshit. That's a lie to get your money.
There were a few, very few times in my younger years that I put aside myself, and my "needs". I went out and played no games, was honest, didn't try to scam up a chic or a beer or a game of some sort - didn't try to "GET" something. I actually behaved like a gentleman with no expectations that anyone anywhere had to do anything for me. Those were the times that quality things happened in my life, quality people and relationships began to formulate (some have lasted 40 + years), and I not only found that there were a few (very few - but more over time) people I wanted to spend time with in my life, but some other people that actually wanted me to be a part of there life. And from these forays a lifestyle has formed that sustains me today. With a few close friends.
Not comparing the sexes here at all, but I am a slooooooow learning male here. Not like watching paint dry, slow, but more like watching a redwood grow, slow.....and I think I'm typical. I really believe that a lot of the attitude you are looking for is internal - be positive yourself! It's damn hard when you're feeling lonely - there just isn't always instant gratification - in otherwords, it might last a little while. But get up and treat yourself right - go do good things and keep your chin up! It will change for the better! - I have to get out of my "poor me I'm lonely" state and start the process.
You sound like a very wonderful, sensitive person. There are a few great people out there. I hope you are fortunate enough to encounter some soon. This was a really good thread and believe me, I have spent a lot of my years in exactly the place you are at.
