Quick (very) background.
DV - 11 years ago. 3 years of stalking, harassment, home invasions, being flushed out of women's shelters, lost housing.
For almost a decade I was homeless - terrified of any indoor space. Sleeping in my car in Canadian winters, no place to go day or night. Couldn't afford coffee, food, nothing. Never knowing from one night to the next where I would be sleeping and if I would survive until the next morning. Okay, have to stop there.
I have been attempting to secure safe housing all of these years. To no avail. I wasn't able to work because the physical reactions I was having of being traumatized; retraumatized; super duper traumatized was insane.
I got a call last week. I have been on a path educational wise to being a peer supporter for others who are experiencing losses from mental health crisis's while still homeless. The call was a confirmation that I had, in fact, gotten a job. That has been my goal all along.... get a job and I will be able to house myself again. And I got it. Last Wednesday first thing in the morning. It changed everything.
Until I got a call that afternoon that I had also received housing support - for life. That never happens. I have no idea how it happened. The trick was, that I couldn't have the job and housing. I had to choose between one or the other. I have been sitting on pins and needles ever since because there was a strong possibility that I would lose both.
I did not. I got the confirmation this afternoon. My housing, as of October 1st, is being fully supplemented. That makes me securely housed for the first time in 11 years. For life. That's the story anyway. Never happens. Most people get supplements for a year or two and then are thrown back out onto the streets again.
I had to decline the job offer, which I did, this afternoon. The decision of choosing housing vs a job was not easy, to say the least. I did a shitload of soul searching, drew upon the advice of friends, professionals, peers. Anyway....
It is official. I am safely housed. Finally. After 11 years+ of never actually having recovered from the damage of the DV situation so long ago..... it appears I will not have to sleep in my car again this winter. Or next winter. Or the winter after that.
It's over. This entire shit show that I have lived this past decade + is finally finished. And I am trying to figure out what I am feeling about all of this. I am walking around this past week with a feeling of shock (good shock yet still shock). I am trying to put an emotion to it. I think that emotion is relief (?).
Anyway, I want to thank each and every one of you for the encouragement you have provided, for the lessons I have learned from you, for allowing me to support you and feel like part of a community. For validating me when I felt misunderstood.
Too many words that I haven't filled in yet. But yes, just thank you. Really.
DV - 11 years ago. 3 years of stalking, harassment, home invasions, being flushed out of women's shelters, lost housing.
For almost a decade I was homeless - terrified of any indoor space. Sleeping in my car in Canadian winters, no place to go day or night. Couldn't afford coffee, food, nothing. Never knowing from one night to the next where I would be sleeping and if I would survive until the next morning. Okay, have to stop there.
I have been attempting to secure safe housing all of these years. To no avail. I wasn't able to work because the physical reactions I was having of being traumatized; retraumatized; super duper traumatized was insane.
I got a call last week. I have been on a path educational wise to being a peer supporter for others who are experiencing losses from mental health crisis's while still homeless. The call was a confirmation that I had, in fact, gotten a job. That has been my goal all along.... get a job and I will be able to house myself again. And I got it. Last Wednesday first thing in the morning. It changed everything.
Until I got a call that afternoon that I had also received housing support - for life. That never happens. I have no idea how it happened. The trick was, that I couldn't have the job and housing. I had to choose between one or the other. I have been sitting on pins and needles ever since because there was a strong possibility that I would lose both.
I did not. I got the confirmation this afternoon. My housing, as of October 1st, is being fully supplemented. That makes me securely housed for the first time in 11 years. For life. That's the story anyway. Never happens. Most people get supplements for a year or two and then are thrown back out onto the streets again.
I had to decline the job offer, which I did, this afternoon. The decision of choosing housing vs a job was not easy, to say the least. I did a shitload of soul searching, drew upon the advice of friends, professionals, peers. Anyway....
It is official. I am safely housed. Finally. After 11 years+ of never actually having recovered from the damage of the DV situation so long ago..... it appears I will not have to sleep in my car again this winter. Or next winter. Or the winter after that.
It's over. This entire shit show that I have lived this past decade + is finally finished. And I am trying to figure out what I am feeling about all of this. I am walking around this past week with a feeling of shock (good shock yet still shock). I am trying to put an emotion to it. I think that emotion is relief (?).
Anyway, I want to thank each and every one of you for the encouragement you have provided, for the lessons I have learned from you, for allowing me to support you and feel like part of a community. For validating me when I felt misunderstood.
Too many words that I haven't filled in yet. But yes, just thank you. Really.
