Relationship No intimacy

[lostforgottensoul]

I have an hyper sex drive but I shut down if there is any sort of loving stuff in it. Like cuddling, stroking, things like that. I will usually seduce harder going into that prostitue mind I still have or shut down completely. Sounds much like you are describing when he does have sex.

I agree that if he isn't willing to get treatment then there's really nothing you can do and hard choices will need to be made. Sex is a needed part of a relationship and yes, it's perfectly ok for one member to have some issues with it. Like it's ok to have erectile disfunction. But men with ED normally will go to a doctor and get some treatment. Same with mental issues. Untreated PTSD as a whole is hell. This is just one piece of that.

Personally I would set my own boundry. Very calmly talk to him and let him know that you are sexually frustrated. Let him know how you feel. That you understand his issues and why he has them but that he needs to seek some therapy if you are going to continue in the relationship. It's a boundry, not an ultimatum. I know leaving the relationship may seem harsh but it's not just the sexual difficulity. That's just the squeeky wheel. He needs treatment for PTSD period. You can't force him to seek treatment but you can set a boundry that you won't be in a relationship with someone that has untreated PTSD. Meaning, has PTSD and refuses to seek treatment as that in of itself can cause major issues in a relationship.

And then I would seek out either couples therapy or a therapist yourself (or both) so you have a place to work out your own issues as when someone gets treatment for PTSD things get worse before they get better and that will give you a place to work out issues you may come across during his time in therapy.

And remember, it's not a quick fix. It can take years many times. But him getting into therapy is step one.

 

[Mach123]

Just as an aside, the last time I was really seriously abusing pills I remember telling her I was free of hypersexuality? It was like my body was overridden and I felt free of it. I wouldn't eat and I thought it was great but people were fussing over me always trying to make me eat. I was like I didn't care if she said no she couldn't hurt me anymore. : ( The problem is you get feeling like Superman and you don't realize what has happened and you can die like that. "It's one more beer, and I don't hear you anymore."

 

[HBQ]

Hi,

My husband has childhood trauma which makes it impossible for him to be intimate with me. He can...

Hi Jellyfish,

I just found this site... Yes I can relate so much. My husband also has significant childhood trauma and has found it very difficult to be intimate. It has gotten better... But it's still hard. We saw a therapist together. For my husband if he focused solely on me it helped him a lot, often he'd get into it and want to participate more. we are still there, I have a high sex drive so six years of this has been very difficult.