No-one Understands

[curiouser]

This is a pattern of behavior, and again, this can be changed. Thoughts may subconsciously creep in, but just as you can change the channel on the tv you can change your thoughts. If the negative thoughts creep in, you could try to recognize what they are, thank them for sharing, and then choose to think about something else or go do something else (this would be a great time to try out the gratitude thing). I'm not saying this is always easy to do, but I am saying that it's possible, and might be worth a try.

 

[Navy Spouse]

Megan you had mentioned before you enjoyed making jewelry. I know I suggested it before, but it really would give you something to do and you may be surprised if you push yourself to get back into that you may find that joy again. Like tigrou465 said earlier in the post, she was able to sell the cards she makes during times she can't sleep. It could be therapeutic for you and profitable. I also sell the things I enjoy making and it feels really good when someone likes your work enough to spend their money on it and take it home. I hope you'll give it a try.;)

 

[freakofnurture]

:( Megan, from what you tell about your parents, they sound really cruel and unempathetic. They they seem to not accept your feelings, to even not allow you certain feelings, outright. Wow... There is little that's more hurtful to a person than having their feelings denied and ridiculed.

I actually feel like they are a lot sicker than you are. Seriously, who treats their own child like that? My parents were exactly the same when it came to my emotional pain. It got better when I moved out and it's so good to have people who just let you feel the way you feel, take your words seriously and are there with you.

I'm not sure I completely understand the legal position you're in. Were any of your rights transferred to your parents, like medical choices etc? If yes, you have the right to demand that you get someone else to make those decisions for you. There are housing projects for people with disabilities.

Regardless of that, please try to get help. Start by going to a crisis center, for example. Those people will first and foremost listen to you and accept your feelings (unless they totally suck at their job) also, they can inform you about ways to get out of you parent's house, away from their destructive influence, away from your dipshit brother.

You deserve to get out of there.

 

[Megan]

my parents aren't that bad. Right now I just can't see the good in people any more. :(.
I just feel like a stone. Don't have any emotions like I used to... I feel 10 years older then I am. I just have to remember I'm 25 years old. :(. It's weird because i don't get upset as easy nor am happy or enjoy anything. :( I just feel aggravated all the time.

 

[Marie E.]

(((Megan)))

 

[maelstrom]

Dear Megan,
I completely understand. My parents love me very much but they don't understand either. Everything they say end up making me feel worse. I'm planning to go home for the winter because I have nowhere else to go and I think staying here by myself wouldn't help me recover from depression and other issues, but I dread the idea of being home and hearing what my parents have to say. They want to help, but they don't know how to do it. It is the same with my friends. I have lost some friends since I had an outbreak of depression and anxiety earlier that year--mainly because I didn't want to be with people anymore, and they didn't really understand anything about these things either. I have disappointed a lot of people who otherwise had a lot of expectations from me.

A lot of what you said resonate with my own experiences....I also lost interests in everything and don't see the point of anything. I feel completely hopeless and I'm scared of life too. I can't do anything and I can't help myself either. But I do think that there are at least a lot of people, like you and me, who do understand how it is. It is not your fault. You are going through a lot and people who don't have similar experiences simply can't understand, and you shouldn't blame yourself for feeling hopeless and scared. You don't have to "change" very much--it's just about bringing out the best in your life and feeling good about who you are. There are scars we carry forever, and there are wounds that can't heal. That's life, and that's okay. As long as we find a community where we can support each other through hard times, and we still find things worth living for in this life (I'm sure you will, once you have overcome your depression, which you will too). We are all in this together, so don't give up yet.

 

[Megan]

I just feel like this is normal. :(.
I wake up every dya with nothing in my mind. I am making christmas gifts for pen pals this year just to keep my mind busy. I don't know how I am going to live because nothing means anything..not even money. I can't save a dime if my life depended on it. :( It's like I woke up one day with amnesia and don't know what i liked or what had meaning. I feel like i know everyone but yet i don't. :(. It's weird. I know my parents are my parents but they don't feel like my parents.

I feel empty inside but yet everything aches. :(. I just don't know why I get up in the morning. every day seems the same. I just feel like i exist like an object exists. I have a dog that i don't have any feelings for but yet i can't give her up for adoption. :(. I know one day I will get my emotions back. Hopefully. I don't want anything for Christmas except my life back, how it used to be. :(.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Not trying to be rude, but until you find a way to be your own person, you will never heal. Your parents know a minute fraction of what there is to know about PTSD, so why do you let them control your healing?

 

[Megan]

Because I am alone in this world. i have no friends.
no one except my parents. I suffer from ptsd and major depression. i feel agitated every day 24/7 for no apparent reason. i am agitated 24/7 because i have a blank mind. i was fine last year but everything went down hill.
I'm agitated when people a.) don't mind their own business. more like my brother because he's always looking to annoy me. My brother always asks about my business and shit but when it comes to his business oh no nobody can come close to talking about it. he always wants to put people down to make himself look better. :( . b.) copying my ideas to make $$ on. I went to a wedding this past july and the photographers copied whatever we did. It didn't make me feel good that they were copying because they were actually getting paid - where as I , i was volunteering because it was my cousin's wedding. everything bother's me because i dont feel like a person. i'm female but don't feel like a female.

now with ptsd i don't even feel smart because i can not relate to people easy and really have no interests in anything. I used to see my parents as my best friends but now i worry like shit because i don't see my self having a future, other then taking care of them when they get older. i no longer trust people because of incident at school. my parents do get on my nerves because it's like they don't believe in drugs to make me feel better. i just can't function in life any more.i have been bullied since 5th grade, and it didn't stop until i graduated college and isolated my self from the world.