No one understands

[DesertLily]

I have Always been the nice kid, the one who keeps it in When it hurts. 7 years ago I went To see a doctor and told me that I suffer from anxiety but since I've never heard anything about it, I ignored it and kept everything under control until 2 years ago, When I had a major panic Attack and since everything got out of control I started having ptsd about all the things that happened in my life and I keep thinking about Jumping of my balcony, the only thing that is stopping me is my faith. I saw a therapist who only made me Feel like crap I don't know what to do please if anyone has some practical advice help please.

 

[Ivi]

First of all you should try and see your doctor and another therapist. Not every therapist works for everyone, I know I've had to change mine before. What's changed in these last two years that's made you feel this way though? Breaking a problem down into smaller parts tends to help for me rather than seeing it as a huge behemoth of everything.

 

[DesertLily]

Thanks for answering me.At the meantime I don't have enough money to see a different therapist, the last one was for free.2 years ago I got married and moved to a different country, I haven't felt that lonely before, far from my parents and sister plus my inlaws said some things that really hurt me and I was fed up and I was preparing for my masters it was too much.

 

[Pjj]

First of all you should try and see your doctor and another therapist. Not every therapist works for everyone

Agreed totally, I saw my first therapist aged 23 who misdiagnosed me with schizophrenia due to dissociation and other things. For me my PTSD stems from sexual abuse and compounded by a series of other significant traumas. Back then PTSD was something uncommonly diagnosed and in the general population reserved for soldiers. A few therapists later and a significant life crises causing flashbacks I have now found a psych that I am comfortable with and I am nearly 50. Each one though along the way gave me a new strategy for the toolbox. The ones whom I avoid usually are limited to breathing exercises.

Don't mess with suicide though no matter how soothing the immediate thought is, most hospitals can prescribe instant meds that can help immediately. A racing heart and tight chest that accompany these thoughts will get you through the emergency dept quickly.

Finally life goes in stages, I have been raped often, feel responsible for illegal police shooting (long story), seen active service, been blown up and watched my stepdaughter die but it is the in between times, a laugh here or there and my quest for self knowledge that makes the flashbacks, insomnia and anxiety worthwhile.

Hope this helps

 

[Pjj]

Check out campus services many UNIs have free counselling services. In Australia, not knowing your country, doctors can arrange 10 sessions with a psychologist under Medicare. Suicide is an emergency so hospitals anywhere should admit you. Don't be ashamed - easier said than done

 

[DesertLily]

Thank you for sharing your story with me,I try to avoid pills I'm trying homeopathic medication and herbs infusions, I know it takes too long to show progress but I am fragile and I keep losing weight and I just feel Lost. I'm going to be 25 and I feel destroyed my soul and mind are empty and tired. I can't work because I don't stand talking to strangers or being in a place full of people. I started studying to become a teacher for children but I can't focus or find the strengh I really feel Lost.

I'm afraid to be judged. I'm a foreigner in France and they give me a look that just kills me.

 

[Pjj]

Please seek treatment, if this has stopped you functioning, you need help. My sister lives in France and so I have been told about about the French attitudes but there are compassionate people everywhere. Don't let this destroy you, don't let the bastards whoever they are win!

 

[Helper]

Its not good to keep in your emotions my mother is like you she keeps in all her, she takes alot of tablet because of depression and other illnesses and I tell it's not good thus best to do is you need to accept your past trauma. I know it's hard but keep hold yo that faith.Dont ever think of self harm it won't make it better. I thinks it's best to let all your emotions out it be threw screaming crying or breaking this. You can get throught you have to keep telling yourself

 

[DesertLily]

Thank you for your advice I hope that I will accept my past trauma and get through this.

 

[anthony]

I keep thinking about Jumping of my balcony, the only thing that is stopping me is my faith.

Can you please explain?