Not Able To Cover My Bills - Vent

[Kintsugi]

(((Reclusive))) I think you should get yourself some ice cream or reward with kitty time or something for you! Relax a little and clear a space for something you want to do, maybe a time commitment goal ("I will read that book I've been wanting to read for at least thirty minutes").

I just want to make sure that you are very aware of self-care! Though I still think that beau is smart. Perhaps a smart, caring baby at the moment, albeit. ;)

 

[Reclusive]

Oh, man, now I SO want ice cream! But I don't want to go to the store. You're right, I should totally do that. I took a bunch of naps today and am thinking about showering and heading to bed. Maybe I'll listen to a new guided meditation that I downloaded - that might be really nice.

Heheh. I wouldn't like him so much if he weren't so darned smart. :P I think he's trying to keep me occupied because my anxiety tends to get bad when I have nothing to do, but I'm so brain-dead today it's not needed.

 

[mamachick]

Reclusive-just don't be so hard on yourself. In these times, it is difficult for everyone to make their obligations and your kitty is lucky to have you. You are no failure. Can you find the inner caretaker to take over when the inner critic rears its head? I know what you mean about moving and not having it in you. I am contemplating a move and the thought is exhausting-lived in same house 15 years. Good tenants are hard to find-I bet they are glad to have you.:-)

 

[Reclusive]

I'm trying to cut myself some slack. It's like I've got this inner battle going on - one part of me thinks I'm a colossal failure and the other part thinks I'm disabled and should get off my back. I'm trying to, but I don't think I've developed an inner caretaker yet - I'm so busy taking care of everyone else, I'm always last on the list. I really hope they're understanding. My fiance has volunteered to talk to the landlord so I don't have to, so at least there's that.

 

[mamachick]

If you are on an airplane and there is a problem-put your own oxygen mask on first sweetie-or you will save nobody else. I know that you know this-just a reminder. I have lucky dogs too. Not that I do not take obligations seriously and I know that you do. Be gentle because you are worth it and nobody is perfect all the time.

 

[Reclusive]

I know... you're totally right. I need to get over my crash and burn mentality. Thank you so much for all the advice and support. We still can't reach our landlord and he isn't returning our calls. Not sure what we're going to do about that.....

 

[Kintsugi]

Reclusive, sometimes when I have trouble possessing and inner caretaker, it is helpful to try and tap into caretaker skills that I use to help others and then just try and use that mode on myself as best I can. I pick a fake person--Suzy Sue, Jane Doe--and imagine that that person has my situation/predicament/feelings, then try and think of how I would treat that person/situation. It helps me to get in touch with the caring part of me and put away the critical part.

 

[mamachick]

I know... you're totally right. I need to get over my crash and burn mentality. Thank you so much for all the advice and support. We still can't reach our landlord and he isn't returning our calls. Not sure what we're going to do about that.....

At this rate, it will be next month before he responds-lol
I know its easier said than done, but try not to worry. Decent tenants are hard to get and having an apartment vacant doesn't bring in income either. (my daughter does some landlord tenant work)
Just stay strong and remember-this happens to everyone. I am a homeowner and emergencies have come up and I have been late-we just do what we need to do to fix it. Thats the best we can do.

 

[mamachick]

Reclusive, sometimes when I have trouble possessing and inner caretaker, it is helpful to try and tap into caretaker skills that I use to help others and then just try and use that mode on myself as best I can. I pick a fake person--Suzy Sue, Jane Doe--and imagine that that person has my situation/predicament/feelings, then try and think of how I would treat that person/situation. It helps me to get in touch with the caring part of me and put away the critical part.

I know that feeling-amazing how we can be better and kinder to others than ourselves.

 

[Reclusive]

That's really good advice, Sunshine. I'm SO much better at taking care of other people than I am myself. Today I feel terrible though. I feel like I didn't sleep and feel faint and am shake-y so I'm going to bed for the rest of the day. Did some serious website work last night, prolly do more tonight, but won't be as bad.

If he doesn't call us today, we'll just take what we have with us and go to his house tomorrow to drop it off. He has properties in the next town over, too, so it might be that he's out of town or something. I don't know. I just know we have until the third and after that we're late, so tomorrow we gotta do this thing or the world will end. Or something.

And someone just knocked on the door trying to sell us dish TV and I think that's a horrible thing to do to people, knocking on their doors all uninvited and whatnot. ::whines more::

 

[Reclusive]

Yay! My landlord was totally cool. Had to handle it all on my own and I totally did it! Oh, the relief!!!!

 

[AngelaMarie]

Reclusive,
High five!! I am so glad it worked out for you with the landlord. Now you can breath a lot easier!!:)