Not Feeling Good About Myself.

[J_trustno1]

I am not feeling so good about myself. Feeling like a failure. Had friends abandon me once they got to know how negative and depressing I may sound. I have been told by a friend that she is not my therapist and I should stop telling everyone about my problems. Now I feel that i am just not enough. I keep feeling that I am using people and throwing my negativity onto to them. It feels as if I am only about depression and there is nothing else to talk about in the entire world. Every little thing irritates me. I get to constant crying when someone makes a comment that offended me. I take things too personally.

I have never been organized in my entire life. Although I have finished my studies 3 months ago but I was never organized or had any time management skills. Everything is all over the please. I don't know what to do or think anymore.

 

[katiekat]

You kind of sound like me before I found out I have ADD. it's worth looking into, and I can tell you that if you do have it, and take meds for it, your self esteem will go up. My boss was about to fire me 4 years ago and she hinted that I have ADD and I got tested, started taking meds and my work improved immensely. It also has helped me be a bit more outgoing, not sure if that is the meds or my self esteem, but I generally feel like people like me and my thoughts aren't so negative anymore.

 

[Barconian]

The criptonite is to close :D

 

[Crow88]

It was so selfish and insensitive of your friend to say that! I think you deserve better friends.

Congrats on finishing your studies - that is a huge achievement when you struggle with mental health. I'm sorry you feel lost and don't know what to do. Sometimes getting a plan together when you are suffering badly is really hard. Do you go to therapy? Right now it sounds like a therapist could really help you clarify what you need to do and what plan works best for you.

I can relate to your feelings of things only being about depression and that feels like it defines you. it's so frightening to experience that loss of self when healing from mental illness.

Sounds like you could really use some self-care. I know it's really hard to do, but are there any things you can do to be kind to yourself? Even just having a relaxing bath or treating yourself to a yummy meal can get you into the flow of being gentle with yourself. You didn't ask to be ill.

Hope you get the support you need. You deserve to be well.

 

[J_trustno1]

Crow88: Thanks for your kind words. I really appreciate you understanding my situation. I am trying to have minimal contact with people who put me down because it does no good to me. I am actually looking for jobs for the time being and will also start searching for a therapist because I really want to break this vicious cycle.

 

[Crow88]

I really hope things work out for you. It sounds like you're going through such a rough time, especially with cr@ppy people who put you down. You deserve so much better. Having a therapist is unbelievably helpful if you get a good one. Really wishing you all the best with your job search - hope you find something you enjoy. It was really brave of you to share your experience on here.

 

[WillyKat]

You can talk to us anytime.

It's a tough thing finding out who your friends are and are not. Been there. And do keep us up to date on finding a therapist.

 

[J_trustno1]

Sure WillyKat. Thanks for your message. I just don't feel normal about this whole depression, Ptsd, antidepressants and therapy. It feels as if i will never break out of it.