@Florian7051 - I was reading through your post as you first started relating how you felt pulled too thin by others and that you'd lost hope, then seeing your comments about not being able to find the "self" you used to be. In between the beginning of the thread and the last post by
@Cashew I saw a lot of support and great suggestions. I'm in a situation where I'm being pulled too thin and it does take away your hope. Often, I can't see why I even try anymore as I don't seem to exist except to serve others and to suffer from this horrible CPSTD.
If I'm reading you right, if not please excuse my intrusion into your post. I think some of the others and Cashew have it right, it's not that you can become who you used to be (I've been trying that for a while to no positive avail), it's that we have to figure out who we are now. We're recreating ourselves, so perhaps we take one or two aspects of who we used to be that we really liked. For you, maybe it's working with animals and helping others (thank you for your service, BTW). For me, it's rediscovering my creative side. I used to play music, write, dance, do arts and crafts, etc... So, maybe I can't get up and do leaps and twirls like I used to and I don't have a piano, but I do have arts and crafts supplies, and I have a computer and a pen and can write. Or, maybe it's that I take aspects of what I used to enjoy doing that I thought were part of me and I work with others - maybe abused children or battered women (my areas for helping others) and I work with them. A little light can go a long way to feeding both their souls and yours. Or, maybe you just concentrate on doing what you need to do to care for yourself - you ride when you can, you volunteer an hour in support of the cause of your choice. You think about what you used to like to do and work this into ways to care for and nurture yourself. I hope some of this makes sense - it feels like I'm speaking to myself as much as I am you. It's time to take care of ourselves and nurture ourselves in the ways we know of and need, and then we build upon that. Also, I think it's important to take in all of the light we can, whether it be from self-care or the care of others who respond to our posts and express concern and offer suggestions. It's real concern and I, for one, greatly appreciate when someone takes time to send a response out to me or even to like a post. For me, it's a connection, and connected to that is light and love. You are worth the effort. Sending you a few rays and many good vibes. Good luck and best to you. VB
