Not Myself Anymore.

[Jill]

A few months back, my anxiety started. About, 8 months ago or so. Ever since then I've just been in hell. I've had blood tests done, I'm fine. My mom says for me to not worry about anything wrong with my brain or heart, but yeah, good luck getting a worry wart to believe that, right? Well anyways, my symptoms for some reason are so hard to explain. It's like they only get bad at home. Like, my head feels tight, and I start feeling like I'm somewhat "high" or I'm not even sure how to explain it... but it increases my anxiety levels. I really only have it bad when I'm about to go to sleep. But like I said, it's really only BAD at home... sometimes whenever I'm not home it happens, too. Like, whenever my body isn't doing anything. If I'm occupied by something like hanging out with a group of friends, I'm okay. I just don't get it?! I'm still terrified that I have some random problem/disease that nobody has caught... ugh, I'm turning into a hypochondriac. Any thoughts/input? By the way, I'm 20 years old, and on no medication. Other than recently, I started taking fish oil vitamins.

 

[Jill]

And to add, what I think may have caused my anxiety was my dad's death back in 2006, and a very nasty 2 1/2 year relationship that started exactly one year after his death... (if that's in any way useful to anyone's solution)

P.S.S.
I've always been a worrier, and just kinda socially phobic in a way... you know, the thoughts of "they're laughing, I know they're laughing at me for something" kinds of things... just when my anxiety started is when things went out of control.

 

[anni]

Hi Jill,

It's a little hard to tell from your post,as it seems you're being understandably restrained. The nasty relationship, of course, could have added to the trauma of your father's death, given abuse and even some other possible preconditions, and it sounds like you're describing anxiety, but not being a professional of course can't say whether or not you personally would have PTSD. There are a ton of helpful articles here on the home page to browse, if you're wishing to perhaps ascertain the possibility of a PTSD diagnosis. This of course will not tell you- perhaps just be helpful in pointing the way to getting yourself to a good, reassuring professional who can help you figure out what's up.Whatever IS up, it's awfully healthy you're looking for answers, and wish to just not be this way anymore when possible. If it's possible to look around for a recommendation for a good, solid therapist, it would be a great place to start. If you have a primary care doc you trust and like, she/he probably has some names they could give you, otherwise maybe ask at local mental health centers and do some independent research as to who sounds just plain good.

I think you're really self-aware for your age. At 20, I would have been far more likely to have ignored the entire thing, I think and no doubt made it worse through time. You're not a hypochondriac, and possibly it's even *just* a chemistry imbalance, identifiable and correctable more quickly than if you'd require time in therapy,who can tell? Fish oil can't hurt, plus you'll have a jump on a really healthy heart by the time you're my age. too. :)

Welcome here, and I do hope you're able to find some answers. Take care,

Anni

 

[Philippa]

A couple of months ago I had some sort of anxiety attack and pulled all the hairs out of one section of my eyebrow! I just could not stop pulling them out. I did it all throughout watching this movie at this persons house, who I realize now, I actually feel scared of and uncomfortable around, as he bullies me constantly and has since we met. It's like he hijacked me and decided we were close friends, when I didn't even have a say int he matter. It's like he literally picked me up from the street and kidnapped me and made me his little play thing to bully and pick on to make himself feel better, because he has so many problems himself, and such low self esteem. He's like my father all over again.

 

[Philippa]

Sorry, I just re-read over this thread, and my previous post did not offer you any sort of solutions...I was just relating to you.