Not Sure What To Do

[TheSquirrel]

Hello,

My name is James. Two nights ago I was mugged at knife point, and had a gun stuck in my back. Ever since then I've been looking out the window every 5 seconds, I sleep okay without nightmares, but its the only thing I can think about during the day. I'm scared to walk outside, even just the three blocks to get to work in the day time. I'm too scared to sit on my porch at night to smoke a cigarette. I don't have health insurance until July, and even then I'm not sure it covers, or that I could afford counseling. I've only told two people; my girlfriend of seven years (who was very close by at the time), and my father, both of whom have been supportive but disconnected. I'm not sure where to turn so I looked for people on the internet. I'm not sure what to do next, I figure I need to start dealing and working through these feelings as soon as possible.

Anyway, that's my story, I'm not even really sure why I brought it here to tell you all. Maybe it's just desperation.

 

[MurphyJB]

Hi Squirell.
I'm very sorry that you had that happen to you. Did you report it to the police?
I think that being as your incident happened 2 days ago, you are experiencing normal reactions.
If you believe you have PTSD, you need to seek out a professional. I k ow it's hard without insurance, but it is possible.

Best of luck to you.
MJ

 

[TheSquirrel]

No I haven't reported anything to the police. I didn't get a good look at the people, only a brief look at the guy who came up in front and stuck a knife against my belly. I also had a gram of pot on me so calling the police was out of the question. I figure my fear, shame, and paranoia are all normal for having something like this happen. I just feel lost, and cannot stop playing it over in my mind. I am paranoid that they will show up at my house and finish the job, and i'm to scared to really open up to any friends in the area as I have only lived here for a year and don't know anyone too well. This is the only place online I was able to find that actually seemed like a legitimate place to talk and listen, the majority of other sites all seem to be advertisements for some counseling center, or some "online counseling" (which I didn't even know existed and I question how well that would work) service. As I said, I don't really know what I'm looking for, maybe just someone to share my story with.

 

[BigBear]

Hi Squirrel,

I don't know if you are religious or not. Sometimes church ministers can give helpful counseling. Sometimes they aren't so hot. LOL. Anyway, it would be free. There also might be some free clinics around. Have you checked?

Bear

PS: Taking reasonable measures to stay safe in a dangerous world is not paranoid!

 

[Kintsugi]

Hi James,
That sounds like a terrible ordeal. Murphy's questions are good ones. You should definitely seek some sort of specialist.

You should know however that there is a difference between chronic PTSD and post-traumatic stress syndrome, which as I understand it is like temporary/short-term PTSD that often accompanies accidents and other such trauma. So before you get yourself worked up over a chronic condition, DO seek a specialist and try and get treatment sooner than later. Welcome to the forum and good luck.

 

[TheSquirrel]

Thank you to every for the kind words and suggestions.

I knew coming on to this forum that I more than likely did not have PTSD (or at least not yet, it is probably too early to tell) but felt it would be a place where people may have gone through a similar experience or at least understand the feelings I am experiencing. I am not a religious person, but there free clinics in the area. I was not aware that free clinics could provide counseling as well (and I'm not even sure if the ones in my area do) and I will look into it.

When you mention seeing a specialist, you guys are referring to a therapist correct? Being so new to the area I'm not even sure where to begin to look for one but I guess I'll start with the yellow pages.

I don't know what else to say. I will stick around and see how others have gone about dealing with these feelings of intense paranoia and fear.

Thank you.

 

[Fireball]

Hi Squirrel,
I am very sorry that this happened to you. You should talk to somebody, but don't go back into the situation when talking to somebody (this could be retraumatizing...) This person should help you to say what happend, but also talk to you about other things. Your reaction is really normal. It could be that it lasts the next 4 or 6 or 8 weeks. If it does not get better after 8 weeks you should search for professional help because that means that you perhaps will suffer from PTSD. And please, don't quit your job. Is there a way to stay ill for some days or even weeks? That would be good. Perhaps you can meet a friend at another place or somebody can come and see you and take you with him. You can talk to a church minister, perhaps somebody who works at hospital. They sometimes have much experience with traumtisation. If not, is there an institution you can call? That helps a lot. I do it really often. They also have experience.
Hope you will find help and a good way out of the situation.

 

[Kintsugi]

Squirrel,
I think coming onto the forum was a great first step. Yes, I was referring to a therapist or psychiatrist. I would look for a referral from the local clinic or hospital. Just ask for a trauma therapist/counselor/psychiatrist. If there are none, there are usually people with experience in trauma. You may try looking for people with experience with EMDR, CBT, or DBT as they probably have training in trauma and could probably better help you with a diagnosis. You are lucky that you can pinpoint the source of your suffering, as PTSD and its symptoms are often mistook for other problems/diagnoses/causes.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk. Hypervigilance is probably my worst symptom next to depression.

 

[BigBear]

I am not a religious person

Just so you'll know, as part of their outreach to the communities, many churches have ministers that actually counsel with people that have no connection with their church.

Also, I had another thought. Some police forces keep track of what the area has in terms of free counseling. They are after all in the business of dealing with tramatic experiences.

Bear

 

[TheSquirrel]

I'm weary of hospitals, because I work for a local lab, and worry about information getting back to my job. (that being said, I'm at work right now, and someone is certainly monitoring this 'telescreen' even if not constantly, I'm 100% sure they could find out where I've been, including this website.) I don't plan on quitting my job as it is the only means of income I have and cannot afford the place I live without it. Also I've only had it for a month so I'd rather not have to look for another in this economic period. Tomorrow my girlfriend starts working here in the same place I do so at least that will give me some small peace of mind, knowing where she is and that she is safe. It will also give me someone to walk to work with, though even just eating lunch outside today was a chore.

It's odd, the more and more I look at the fear I am having, it isn't fear over someone coming and mugging, stabbing, or shooting me. It's about someone coming and mugging, stabbing, or shooting her. The rational part of my mind says this is completely ridiculous, but that is doing little to calm my fears. I just got a great new apartment, and a great new job, and now I want nothing more than to run from this place and never return. It's nerve-racking.