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ED Nourishment Accountability Thread

#14
I ate comfort food today. I'm not coping well with stress this week, so eating inner kid comfort food seemed the way to go.
It's not exactly mindful eating, but I'm trying to be mindful about not eating mindfully... Does that count as a starting point? :meh:
 
Thread starter #15
they have no idea what it's cost me. But if I talk about it, I'm boasting, apparently. Drives me nuts.
This has been difficult for me, too. I feel unable to talk about the toll on myself lest someone thinks I’m bragging somehow.

When my best friend’s pancreas stopped working last year (adult onset type 1 diabetes), she was dying, and I was the only one not patting her on the back about her weight loss. I really think people thought I was just jealous until she had a heart attack (not even 30 years old!).
 
#16
Anyone have any idea how to deal with my situation right now? I have a 'binge' every night. It's not exactly a binge as I've had... but when my medication kicks in I just get hungry and insatiable. So I eat a lot of stuff that isn't exactly nourishing. But then the next day, I need to fix that and make it right, don't eat all they, have a little dinner to not alarm my husband, and start eating crap all evening again.
I don't know how to break that cycle. I have tried taking my meds later, but then I can't sleep and I'm really, really restless all evening.

If I wouldnt have the binges it would be so much easier to make healthy choices during the day, I wouldn't have the feeling that I have to compromise. Even if I didnt binge the night before, I compromise during the day in fear of having a binge later.
 
#17
When I get the binges I try to binge on something healty. Easier said than done, I know. My go-to binging stuff is low-fat youghurt with berries or fruit. Then I just eat however much I "need to". And try not to feel bad about it.

Another thing: I've noticed that trying to compensate for the binges by eating less during the non-bingey part of the day actually makes the binging worse. The temptation is huge to not eat in fear of the later binges, but for me it only escalates the situation.
 
Thread starter #19
when my medication kicks in I just get hungry and insatiable. So I eat a lot of stuff that isn't exactly nourishing.
This was me last night. I barely ate yesterday until around 3am last night/this morning.

I try to avoid the moralization of food; I think it’s societally unhealthy (that food is naughty, that one is good). I prefer to frame what happened last night as a very hungry woman who made the easiest choices available. Me as a not hungry woman at an earlier time could have made better easiest choices available, before the critical hunger. That’s where my focus is. For me, I see no point judging myself when I’m sincerely ravenous and taking the path of least resistance.

Not sure if my perspective on this is helpful.

Edit: I’m not saying anyone did assign a moral weight to foods here. Just saying I try to avoid it, because guilt over food is a bit silly considering the shame I’ve overcome in other parts of my life.
 
#20
Well, my day ended disastrously! My car broke down right outside my T's office, which is in the middle of nowhere. Pretty much my worst nightmare. I didn't completely freak out somehow, but it's taken me two hours to get home so I've missed dinner, it's nearly bedtime, and I've no appetite. I'm determined to eat something though or I'm definitely not going to sleep.
 
#22
So, I've been thinking about this food/ eating/ nourishment topic and have been drawing the usual blanks.
When I get stuck with a topic, I usually end up talking to inner kid about it eventually.

So, this morning, talking to inner kid about food and nutrition, I'm like "Well, the body needs food so it can do stuff" and inner kid's facial expression is like "Yeah right, you're crazy - as *if* the body needs food... tsss". And I'm like WTF?

If inner kid and I don't even agree on the most basic things like "the body needs food" then... ummm.... where do I start?? And... umm... no wonder this whole "eating regularly and healthily" thing ain't working.

:bag:
 
#23
Maybe the inner kid does WANT food? Or wants energy to play and have fun? Maybe try to have a conversation with your inner kid about what the kid DOES want and how food is neccesary for those things?

Meanwhile, I'm a complete mess, probably getting admitted somewhere next week. I didn't want to go to a closed ward so I'll have to wait a few more days.
For now I have more medication so more weird food cravings. I really don't have the energy to think much about it right now and I really don't care anymore so I just eat when I want to, or not.
 
#24
I was born an undereater. I spent most of my adult life being an undereater. Then, some pdoc prescribed Zyprexia. I became an overeater in 4 months, gaining 60 pounds during that time period! He had said this med would "cause a little weight gain." Yeh, right....

I eat healthfully during the day, but I am a nighttime eater now and I have lately been doing the corn chips and salsa thing in the middle of the night, gaining yet more weight!

I suppose I should just throw the chips out and put the salsa into my omelettes at breakfast. Maybe I can manage then to stay at the weight I am at.

I do not know if I belong in this thread, but I just did want to say that I can relate to the undereating thing. I used to never get hungry! I would skip meals, busy at whatever was interesting me at the time. I would just simply forget to eat. I keep wondering if I should try that now, lose some of this excess weight, but I then think to myself, that would not be the healthiest thing to do.

My Dr.s have been no help at all!
 
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