reddevil1111
Diamond Member
pre basted Chicken... kinda sick but I did watch it. next please!
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Now This Is Funny
- Post starter Jimmy1
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- #26
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- #27
Thought you guys might need more of a laugh
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- #28
A crusty old biker out on a long summer ride in the country pulls up to a tavern in the middle of nowhere, parks his bike and walks inside.
As he passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign hanging over the bar:
COLD BEER: $2.00
HAMBURGER: $2.25
CHEESEBURGER: $2.50
... CHICKEN SANDWICH : $3.50
HAND JOB: $50.00
Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the ole' biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled farmers.
She glides down behind the bar to the ole biker.
"Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "may I help you?"
The ole biker leans over the bar, "I was wondering young lady," he whispers, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
She looks into his eyes with that same smile and purrs "Why yes, yes, I sure am".
The ole' biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly, "Well, wash your hands real f@#king well, cause I want a chicken sandwich".
As he passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign hanging over the bar:
COLD BEER: $2.00
HAMBURGER: $2.25
CHEESEBURGER: $2.50
... CHICKEN SANDWICH : $3.50
HAND JOB: $50.00
Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the ole' biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled farmers.
She glides down behind the bar to the ole biker.
"Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "may I help you?"
The ole biker leans over the bar, "I was wondering young lady," he whispers, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
She looks into his eyes with that same smile and purrs "Why yes, yes, I sure am".
The ole' biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly, "Well, wash your hands real f@#king well, cause I want a chicken sandwich".
Bill Simmons
Gold Member
I laughed so hard over the cat photo I damn near shit down both pant legs!!! You guys gota take it easy, some of us are getting old with less control!!:D
My dad was telling me some of the USMC Weapons platoons and Army Rangers have riflemen that carry the old M-14 that went out in the 70's... they consider it more accurate and more reliable than an M-16, less jams and more forgiving of dirt and grime. The sniper from 26th MEU Weapons platoon carried a Remington SPS Tactical... he used to sit there for hours every day on board the Guam cleaning and oiling it and laughing uncontrollably at I Love Lucy episodes.... we were all too scared to ask if we could put in another VHS lol
What I can't figure out is who came up with the 9mm as the standard sidearm for the US military? I always felt like I was carrying a BB gun... Ya the old 1911 .45 was inaccurate as hell but if it hit something it wasn't getting back up. And if they are in pistol range I don't want them maimed and within spitting distance from me that's for sure...
My cousin is a policeman and used to carry the Berreta 9mm. He emptied a clip on a guy laced up on PCP, then back up arrived and 2 shots from a Glock .40 cal dropped him dead in his tracks, well he was still crawling toward them but no longer a threat. Two days later he had a Glock Model 22 on his belt...
Oh and on the GPS thing... Nichol dropped mine in a litre glass of beer once on vacation in New Orleans (long story, lets just say we were running from a shop keeper)... it still worked tho lol... it just always slurred her directions and cussed a lot after that... "take a fff*ckin right... right.. I SAID RIGHT HERE DAMMIT!" I mainly use mine downtown Houston.. too hard to read a map or even street signs in that traffic... I let her keep the drunk GPS for sentimental reasons...
What I can't figure out is who came up with the 9mm as the standard sidearm for the US military? I always felt like I was carrying a BB gun... Ya the old 1911 .45 was inaccurate as hell but if it hit something it wasn't getting back up. And if they are in pistol range I don't want them maimed and within spitting distance from me that's for sure...
My cousin is a policeman and used to carry the Berreta 9mm. He emptied a clip on a guy laced up on PCP, then back up arrived and 2 shots from a Glock .40 cal dropped him dead in his tracks, well he was still crawling toward them but no longer a threat. Two days later he had a Glock Model 22 on his belt...
Oh and on the GPS thing... Nichol dropped mine in a litre glass of beer once on vacation in New Orleans (long story, lets just say we were running from a shop keeper)... it still worked tho lol... it just always slurred her directions and cussed a lot after that... "take a fff*ckin right... right.. I SAID RIGHT HERE DAMMIT!" I mainly use mine downtown Houston.. too hard to read a map or even street signs in that traffic... I let her keep the drunk GPS for sentimental reasons...
Bill Simmons
Gold Member
Hey tho9900, I use to live in Houston. Played guitar with Joe Hughes. Perhaps we have run into each other???
Bill Simmons
Gold Member
Oh f*ck I use to live in Vidor....I was born in Houston 1948. I have lived there off an on through the years.
Well...."lived" is not always been the case. I stays in third ward. I am only white on the outside!! Stayed with Lightnin Hopkins a lot when I was a kid. Played the blues in the juke joints.
I will post some of my shit soon enough.
Well...."lived" is not always been the case. I stays in third ward. I am only white on the outside!! Stayed with Lightnin Hopkins a lot when I was a kid. Played the blues in the juke joints.
I will post some of my shit soon enough.
crap Bill Vidor is where my dad is from what yrs? and lol I am many of my mexican friends white bother they never had lol..
and shit.. Lightning Hopkins... ya post pls!! gonna get something off utube so people understand not from here...
and this is what Bill and I are alking abt...
and shit.. Lightning Hopkins... ya post pls!! gonna get something off utube so people understand not from here...
and this is what Bill and I are alking abt...
W
Wagon
Used to have these posted in my office. Nobody knew. But I actually meant it. Hehehe
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