Nye Rage...!

[Rani G2]

I have become emotionally needy these days, posting too much, asking... I just dont like that about myself very much. I am though trying to reflect upon that and act out differently. Today I failed.
So, I was so full of anger, that I exploded.


I woke up, screamed, said extremely nasty things about people, people that just ignore me, who are not “thankful“.Those who have no gratitude, those who just left without explaining why they stopped staying in touch with me. I was so out of myself, threw things around, cried. I feel very hurt. No one needs to pretend, why call on NYE to wish me a good year?! F*off, I am done. I will cut you all off, and I really dont give a F*. (Obviously I do, because I am hurt! And this just makes me even more Urgghhhh)

So, now I calmed down, my rage is from 110% reduced to 50%.I know this aint rational, I cant do rational now.

If you need to spit it out, spit it out! :mad::mad::(

This is a domain for ANGER, use it if you want to!

 

[ladee]

Better out than in is what I say.
Its ok to shout and get it out.
Sounds like you are very self aware and know where you are with the anger.
So Happy New YEAR to you and you will be dragging less hurt and anger into the New Year.
Spit it out! You did great. You will be tired now from that release so do some special self care today.
Show yourself how you are going to take care of you this upcoming year.
Kudos for spittin' it out!!!

 

[Rani G2]

Spit it out! You did great. You will be tired now from that release so do some special self care today.

Yes! Thanks ladee!

 

[ladee]

Now that the initial rage and crash and burn is hopefully overwith, wanted you to know I relate.
I was to learn how much hurt and pain was behind my rage. It took time to untangle that knot and understand where the rage was coming from.
I know that rage made me feel powerful. Ten foot tall and bullet proof.
Anything was preferable to feeling helpless and a victim.
So this year you seek out new friends. You continue in therapy to find your worth and your real power.
Will be cheering for you.
Very proud of you for sharing that rage. Its not as destructive when shared and people really do understand.
Happy New Year!
Gentle hugs.

 

[VioletButterfly]

I did near to the same thing a couple of days ago. It was one of those "last straw" moments where I just had had ENOUGH. I was done putting everyone else first, done with others and their crap, just DONE. A lot of anxiety turned into a lot of anger, rage and resentment focused outward toward the main 2 who are making life a living hell. It was quite surprising as it was very foreign to me to feel those emotions, much less to focus them outward. There was no resulting feeling of guilt, only clarity. Still letting the dust settle, but I think it was a turn in direction toward a healthier destination.

This:

So Happy New YEAR to you and you will be dragging less hurt and anger into the New Year.

Absolutely!!!! :tup:

 

[Rani G2]

Thanks VB for your insights.

I am not good. Extremely anxious, i feel as if someone is going to destroy me. I always had this fear, and on top of it layers of controlling issues. I control a lot at work, at home.

This getting destroyed, is something I have known for many years. Need to look closer to that.