Medical Obgyn and fear

[Madmaninabox]

I have been struggling with painful irregular menstration. I have been avoiding going to a doctor for it though. The last obgyn I went to I had a really bad experience I was having my first pap smear and halfway through I ask the doctor stop. She didn't and just pushed on telling me to relax and calm down ( I was freaking out she still didn't stop) I was having horrible flash backs to being molested.

I ended up in the ER because the pain was so bad they did a ultrasound and found some stuff that needs checked out. So I made a appointment with a different obgyn then last time. It's still just hard though.
I'm mad at myself for not taking care of this sooner but at the same time I want to avoid my appointment so bad.

Any advice on making obgyn appointments go better when you have sexual trauma would be appreciated.
Also about forgiveing yourself for avoiding leading to bad results like being sick.

a side question is that experience with the obgyn a trauma or just a trigger. I find myself having flashbacks to this event in her office that are just like the flashbacks I have about being molested. I don't know if it was a traumatic experience though, or just triggering.

 

[BrownLea12]

Is there someone that you trust who could go along with you? Maybe that would be helpful?

Frankly any healthcare provider should stop any time you tell them to, otherwise it can be considered assault. You should certainly be able to talk with your next gyn while still fully clothed and ask how they handle exams on victims of molestation and abuse. Tell the next about your fears and experiences, and if you don’t feel comfortable, it’s a lot easier to leave then.

Take gentle care of yourself.