Obgyn

[KaffeinatedKatie]

I desperately need to go to the OBGYN so that I can get birth control, which I've been out of for 3 months. My fiance is basically thinking that I don't want to have sex with him and that's why I keep putting it off. I avoid the OBGYN like the plague and have only been once. The one visit didn't do much to ease my anxiety. In the past I have mostly gone to Planned Parenthood, since they don't require a full exam to get birth control, but it seems ridiculous to do that at my age (29) and when I have insurance. Plus, we plan to start trying to conceive in less than a year, so this is something I'm going to have to face. Has anyone else gone through this anxiety? What helped?

 

[Muted]

I desperately need to go to the OBGYN so that I can get birth control, which I've been out of...

I make myself go, but I completely turn off my emotions beforehand. I’m not sure how I more or less ‘trained’ myself to do this. I have to go and so I just go. If I think about it, I could spiral quickly, so I just put it out of my mind.

I’m not sure if that’s good coping or not, but that’s what I do to deal with it. I hope you can get through it.

 

[Bristol]

My husband and I are currently going through all the tests before we start IVF, ive had three really invasive tests this month and they havent not got easy but my approach to them has. I never used to tell anyone anything, now i write a note which will say something like "i had a difficult childhood and i find these tests difficult" so that i have their understanding before i start. I think part of it involves trying to lessen your abusers grip, try not to let them stop you being healthy. You can do it, also set up rewards, leave your pajamas, a hot water bottle and a blanket ready for when you get home it helps to take the edge off for me and helps me ground.

I hope that helps.

 

[hymnless]

I've had the pleasure of having to go to the OBGYN twice in the last month. Ugh. I'm always very triggered when I'm there. My only piece of advice is to talk to the doctor a bit (along the lines of what @Bristol said), but don't worry about bringing it up with a nurse or tech. You only need to disclose that information so many times. If it's a new provider a lot of times their intake forms will ask if you have a trauma history and I think that makes it a lot easier to handle. Only say what you feel like you can or need to. Also a lot of doctors offices will give you a one time rx for a benzo or something. Hang in there! It's scary and hard but you'll get through it, just like everything else :)

 

[ProductOfSociety]

I'm 28 and I have only recently gotten birth control for the first time ever. I had a papsmear when I was 18, and again when I was 25. When I was 25 I hyperventilated (panic attack) and it was extremely painful for me. I thought it may be due to the fact that it was my general practitioner (not his specialty) and that it was a man. However, this year I went and had a specialized lady doctor, I explained my previous experience and my trauma, and she did her best to be as gentle as possible. It was still painful and I did cry, but she did the best she could to comfort me. She explained to me that my cervix was backwards and that I was closing my insides, making it harder for her to do the examinations and making it a more painful experience for me. She recommended that with my next papsmear I take anxiety medicine beforehand. I wanted an IUD but she recommended an arm implant (3 year), which I did end up doing, as she didn't think I'd be able to handle the procedure (and I am too forgetful to do a daily pill). I can get the arm implant removed at any time and no one has to go near my lady bits to do it.

In short, I think the best option is to just be honest and open, and know that you don't have to give any details you don't want to give. I simply told staff that I had a previous traumatic experience and they were kind enough to not ask me any questions about it and understand that they had to be extra cautious with me. If you have any anxiety mediation, take it before your appointment, as BookerNoe suggested. This was also recommended to me by my Doctor as well. From someone who recently went through this, I am wishing you the best.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I desperately need to go to the OBGYN so that I can get birth control, which I've been out of...

I set up my exam few weeks in advance so I had time to mentally prepare. I've found that when I'm scared if I schedule it the next day for example it feels like rushing and that super-triggers my anxiety.

I also called ahead of time to make sure it would be a woman doctor.(they made a mistake and scheduled me with a man-but I had prepared for weeks and waited hour and a half on the day itself- so I still did it; was kind of proud:))

Other that giving myself time, I also prepared- I had music to listen to for the waiting room, and took my boyfriend with me. If you have a keychain with nice memory and/or fidget, take it and keep it in your hand or pocket to touch. I'm calmed by warmth, so knowing that now(I didn't at the time), I would take travel mug with hot coffee or chocolate with me, also one of those self-warming hot packs. Basically anything that helps you self-soothe and calm even a bit.

The other thing is, give yourself plenty or time to prepare and get there with extra time as a buffer, have nice meal, prepare calmly. If you're already nervous, you don't want to add worry about getting there on time. And I personally left the rest of the day after blank for sleeping or relaxing or whatever- just to know I have the time if needed. I only needed 2 hours, but it was still relaxing knowing that was an option.

And just a reminded, since you said you want to concieve? There will be more doctor visits around that. Personally for whatever reason after my rape, my stomach is a hyper-sensitive area that I don't like unknown people touching, so that will be something I'll have to deal with when I get to that. So just be prepared if you have any sensitivities like that. But just take care of yourself- you'll get through this slowly. Also if you have the option isn't private care preferable? I've found for myself that people there are more punctual and more careful with better bed-side manner, which helps me...but may be that depends on the country.