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Obsessions

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Oh Hollow let me see, there are a lot of them.

The things that really get me anxious are;

- can't sit with back to a door. I need to see a room.
- can't use a public urinal, I will wait for 10 or 15 miuntes to use a stall or have even gone to the washroom outside rather than use one.
- can't sleep without doors and windows locked. I check them every night two times.
- can't walk into a room without looking for potential weapons, and escape routes.
- I HAVE to know where my family is all the time, not out of a controlling aspect, I NEED to know they are safe. If they are late and haven't called me I can get more than a little loopy.

Things that generate lesser degrees of anxiety;
- objects out of line with table edges. (I even straighten them unconciously)
- any changes to my schedule - change my schedule watch me spin!
- I need to go and check a place out before I actually go there. For example, I am supposed to meet someone for a meeting for work or even socially, and I have never been there before, I need to go by and see that area before the meeting. To see the "lay of the land" and what safety concerns there may be. If I do this my anxiety upon gonig there is much less, if not I can be pretty anxious.

Just a few, and yes the impact my life. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. My wife is very understanding, my job not so much sometimes, my family in general think I am a "fruit loop". If I am a fruit loop though I want to be orange....mmmm orange.
 
I wanna be a bunch of grapes... not only because they are yummy but also, many little me's with which to organize a revolt against the banana... grr banana

I have obsessions... I am very obsessed about my medical health, however I had two serious cancer scares last year and according to the psychiatrist I was seeing it wasn't a bad obsession. I imagine obsessing about war is much the same, it is something that poses a real threat to everyone's survival. Of course, I imagine it depends on the degree of obsession. It is one thing to read up about it to stay informed, and another entirely putting yourself in debt to build a bunker under your house "just in case".

I obsess about people. It's usually people that have slighted me in some way. My abusive ex boyfriend I still read his online blogs, his friend and girlfriend's online blogs to see if he is commenting on them. He lives very far away but I do not feel safe unless I know every detail of what is happening in his life.

A girl I grew up with who befriended everybody I was friends with from grade 1-11 (when I dropped out) and then they suddenly would never talk to me every again. She did this with my last boyfriend who I was still close friends with, and now that they are dating he will not even nod in courtesy if I pass him on the street. I freeze if I see her around even though she has never done anything to really harm me. And yet, I still try my best to keep informed on her comings and goings.

My ex boyfriend's previous girlfriend who spammed graphic insults at me through various online handles the week after I was drugged and raped. He, of course, told her because he "thought she would be able to help". She made him break up with me a month later because she managed to convince him that I wanted to have sex with that guy and was using rape allegations as a coverup.

According to my ex, who is now a clinical psychologist these people exist as architypes for my pain and suffering. According to my current bf, I just need to "let things go".
 
Wow, Arcticboy...you actually put a smile to my face. Orange.. haha :)
I'd like to be a banana... I think :) Or something green, like a lime..

But outside fruity jokes... I tend to check out places before actually going too! I don't like big crowds, so i intentionally look for exits.. How far down is it? How close can i park my car? etc..
 
I also do some of these things...just didn't really think of them as obsessions...But yeah, in classrooms, I have to be away from windows, near the door but not with my back to it (though that's not always possible considering lecture hall layouts etc.)...I have to make sure I have an exit strategy, I survey the room...or wherever else I happen to be...close windows, doors befor egoing to bed...have to make sure the curtains are completely covering the windows...and it really goes on and on...
 
I have obsessions. I will list the ones I can think of right now.

If one of my kids (all teenage boys) have a blackhead or zit on their back, face, chest, or arm I have to get it. It gets so bad sometimes that I will bribe them to let me get the zit or blackhead. I know I shouldn't do that but it's so hard not to.

I have to carry fingernail clippers, cuticle cutter, floss, nail file, hair tie, and chap stick with me no matter where I'm at.

If I pet one of our cats I can't touch anything else until I wash my hands. It's not the same for the dog unless I rub her belly.

I have to have a box of kleenex next to my bed, on my desk at home, and on my desk at work. The world stops if I run out and once the box is replaced the world starts again.

I'm sure there are more but I can't think of them right now.

Wendy
 
I used to carry a mini survival pack. Small enough to stuff in my pocket. Because when I was a kid at any time I could be on my own or running.
 
Oh yes.

While growing up, I was obsessed with doing everything in even numbers. One time I was in the bathroom for over an hour because I'd messed up my timing, and had to flush the toilet 8 times with each hand (not just hit the handle...wait for the whole flush cycle to finish). And neatness; if I left my skates out I'd lie in bed and obsess until I just had to get up and put them away.

I used to, when the symptoms were much worse, have to check out a place (i.e. a movie theatre parking lot) and if there were a certain number of cars in it, we couldn't go. I don't know what the magic amount was, but I was very clear about what was too many. At my worst, when I was out of work on disability, I would only drive at night for fear of meeting an on-coming car driver's eyes. I couldn't stand to be seen.

Even now, I HATE to be observed. I've posted about this before, but when I have to go to a meeting at the other end of campus, I go behind buildings and through alley ways instead of going straight down the pedway.

I also do the organizing thing (I really related to Rachel's descr!). I used to couldn't decorate in our home because all the pictures would end up in a straight line across the wall, even-Steven.

Have to sit with my back to a wall in restaurants, meetings, etc.

When I'm anxious, I neaten, straighten, tidy up, constantly.

At a new job, I obsess about failure, not being good enough, getting fired, whether my boss likes me or not....I'm presently still in that cycle (started this job in November).

-Dylan
 
Big confession here, I am obsessed with Angelina Jolie, From the nose up she is the double of my Psychologist who I stopped seeing last December. Nothing rude or crude, I just can't stop compareing the two of them.
Also I am obsessed with germs and raw meat, if my wife cuts up meat in the kitchen and she cleans up, I go behind her and disinfect the whole worktop and sink. I won't eat an apple without washing it under running water. I wonder if obsessions are related to untreated or issues from our past.
On a lighter note, oh to have angelina as a therapist, she could bring Brad along to as I think he's ok too
 
Liquor. I buy it by the case. All kinds from champagnes to bourbons to liqueurs. It collects dust in my house. I don't drink. I don't know why I feel better just knowing there are cases and cases of liquor in the house.

Interior doors. They are the enemy. I remove all interior doors in my house. That includes closet doors, bedroom doors and bathroom doors. And if I can't get the door off, I remove the knob.

Windows. They are the weakest link in all structures. All mine are and stay covered. If it were up to me, I would remove them and board the whole house up.

Dogs. I can't sleep without knowing my dog is in the house and preferably in my bed with me.

Locking the demons out. I always lock the doors of the car and always lock the house doors when I am inside or out.
 
I get obsessed about different things, and put all my concentration in them. I think its an avoidance mechanism, to help me cope.

TexasKitty
 
odd numbers. when i eat, i count how many times i chew and it must always stop on an odd number - every mouthful. the same goes for physical exercise - each set of stretches must be done in an odd number, and i must do an odd number of sets etc...
 
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