Childhood Opinions...is it possible to present indicators of trauma from years of therapy?

[CrzyBl0nd128]

Hi! I've been reflecting a lot lately..
I was wondering if it would be possible to present indicators of childhood trauma, sex abuse, from years of therapy?

I don't have any memories of abuse, but I have years of therapy. While I don't really remember any of the sessions, I do have memories from pre k and up where I acted out sexually.

The sexuality abuse that I can't remember took place while I was approx 2-4 and my younger brother says he remembers but I am thinking that it is possible we behaved how we did due to the influence of therapy...

 

[joeylittle]

Hi! I've been reflecting a lot lately..
I was wondering if it would be possible to present indica...

Do you mean, did Therapy you had as a child Introduce false memories or affect your behavior? Or, that being i therapy now could be causing you to suspect abuse in childhood? Or that therapist abused you? Or something else? (Sorry, my reading comprehension skills are slow tonight)

 

[CrzyBl0nd128]

lol I'm wondering if therapy from my childhood could be why I present some indicators of being sexually abused

 

[joeylittle]

lol I'm wondering if therapy from my childhood could be why I present some indicators of being sex...

Gotcha. Because you were influenced, in therapy, by questions about abuse? Or because you were abused by therapist?

(Do you mind if I ask what you were in therapy for?)

 

[CrzyBl0nd128]

I was in therapy for sexual abuse, but I don't remember any of it. I don't remember any of the therapy sessions either. But I'm wondering if I could have been influenced by questions regarding abuse.

 

[CrzyBl0nd128]

What I mean by when I say that I don't remember the therapy sessions I mean I have no significant memory. I can remember what some buildings looked like, but not people or any one event.

 

[Deleted member 541]

It's not uncommon to not remember, especially if you were 2-4 yrs old. The mind sometimes grants us not remembering. It will sometimes drive you crazy that you can't remember, but others say it's a blessing.

 

[EveHarrington]

......but you likely have no significant memory from many events in your childhood around that age, too....

 

[The Albatross]

If you were 2-4... and your younger brother remembers? How old would he have been? Hmm. I'm not really understanding the opening post. Are you saying you and your brother were in therapy before you were in pre-k? Before you and he may have been exhibiting the behaviors?

 

[CrzyBl0nd128]

I made a super long post in childhood that goes deeper into all of this. I recently began an internship at a children's advocacy center that unknowingly became a trigger for me.
The whole thing with my younger brother is super weird which is partially why I have such confusion. But I have body memories, which I had no idea were until researching this, and I have a nice long list of indicators of sexual abuse trauma.

What gets me is the whole memory thing. You know? How could I not know so much about my life? I understand 2-4 is normal to not have many memories.. but from 5-15 I went to therapy. I remember the names of the places and I remember some of the settings, no clue what was ever discussed.
How could I have blocked out so much??
How could I not have any idea??? That just seems insane to me.

So i guess I'm just trying to find some sort of logic reasoning for myself for why I would present so many indicators and act out sexually as I have.

So I was thinking that maybe because it was such a "norm" in my upbringing to talk about sexual abuse is why. Maybe I was accidentally influenced by therap

 

[Kintsugi]

If I were you, I would
A) switch internships immediately
B) contact the T who worked with you for 10 years--or Ts, whatever
C) keep journaling, but I wouldn't try to force anything that you don't recall until you know more about why you were in therapy and what the content of those sessions was

 

[EveHarrington]

So you're thinking that therapy caused all these symptoms and not sexual abuse?

What's that saying?


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