Opinions On Stress Reactions Wanted

[LhasaLover]

Hi Medic!

If it helps, from my experience, you can never believe anything at all on the internet. A lot of statements are a simply a "hook" to get people going and/or to respond. The idea is to not take the bait, because some people are just not in it for "the truth". It very well could be the caretaker within you where you try to help. Honestly, flame wars are the worst and they are stressful. Usually flame wars are unpleasant and stressfu.

When I see troublemakers online, personally I block or delete them. I only want people who can manage to act responsible and pleasant to one another in my internet community. Maybe think of it as making yourself #1 and realistically evaluate how it would be impossible to correct all the incorrect information on the internet... that is a big job!

I do not know the specifics, but I hope this helps!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Medic, an emotional flashback for me is to be triggered into past bad memories and the feelings that go along with the memories. Mabe it just a flashback. I always called them emotional flashbacks because of the bad feelings that would come up. I hope this explains it to you.

Another thing that triggers me is being lied to. It makes me feel crazy. I hate liars and bullies. I try to avoid them at all costs. I try to remain as calm as I can be.

I am a caregiver for my husband who has dementia and he gets delusions which are false beliefs not based on any facts. It makes me crazy too. I try to be patient and understanding, but I have a very hard time when he falsely accuses me of things. Luckily for me it does not happen every day.

I hope things will improve for you. Canceling the account sounds like a very good idea. Hugs.

 

[LhasaLover]

How I know the abuser's ways of deflecting - Gizmo's post struck a chord.

My family members are experts at making up stories and lying... in fact their vision of the world does not include factual events that they orchestrated.

This is a major trigger of anxiety for me! I have learnt not to respond, not to even answer a question I do not find worthy of my attention. Practicing positive reactions that help our recovery is at first exhausting, but ultimately worth it!

 

[a3a2]

a3a2, I wish I could speak to my therapist about it, but I no longer have a therapist, so I thought I'd see if anyone else has had to deal with this. Did you ever work through this type of thing with your therapist?

My first visit to a therapist was because of this issue. At the gym, a woman I didn't know, came up and started yelling at me (in front of my children) for spilling coffee on the clothing she had stashed under a bench. I don't drink coffee. I went home and sobbed, and could not stop. On and off I cried for two weeks. This led to my diagnosis of ptsd.

Unearthing the ptsd and talking about the trauma (physical, sexual and mental abuse in my case) helped relieve a lot of my over reactions to events like the one above. I can still remember how triumphant I felt when someone flipped me the bird in traffic and I didn't go home and want to die.

 

[John25]

I had a breakthrough today about this topic which bothered me most of my life, just today, amazing... I woke up an hour ago and went to the drugstore and the thoughts just ran through my mind, you have obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD ) ( like people anxiety ) and nobody cares, you have ocd and nobody cares...

What a beautiful day :cool:, it's raining outside and my walk was totally relaxing and I felt my anxiety healing... I think that this is the deal with all of the strangers and casual and/or scientific chat rooms, facebook, twitter, on the bus, even in a small town where I live, even people who gossip just do it for the sheer lack of thought, and people on the street who look at you and think about something totally different, and strangers who talk to you just to be polite or just because they have no personal manners.... just a beautiful day

 

[NarcSis]

There are a lot of people who understand this reaction, sorry I haven't been around in a while, I don't log on as often as I used to now that I can't access the forum through my mobile.

I'm not "following" the original poster anymore on twitter, but many of the ptsd medic people I follow still follow the blog, so I am practicing ignorance. I know I can't correct everything, but when a post offends me personally, is derogatory in respect of my background and borders on spreading hatred amongst my "group", I will stand up whether my voice makes a difference or not. It's just not right.

I am afraid of confrontation now - it's that simple isn't it? I know my old therapist used to try to do role-playing things to try to get me to build up tolerance and mastery over the vulnerability I'd feel in these situations but it never seemed to work. It was staged, it's hard for me not to "act" in those situations; it's not the real me, it's the acting me so it never really worked. I don't know how to practice being assertive because I don't like being selfish or putting myself before others. I still, after all these years of psychological work, place others before me, bow out to the "voice of authority" and don't feel strong enough to stand up for myself.

Now I'm only a virtual pain in the ass fighting for what's right. LOL.

 

[LhasaLover]

Hi Medic72,

Bless you! I used to be a champion for the underdog. My team would literally tell me that I kicked arse! I mean, I am and was so used to standing up for myself as a means of survival that it came naturally to me.

I've learnt a lot from my current therapist who specializes in violence, for one thing. My therapist is very centered and always ready for our appointments. She is never rushed and always mindful. However, I've gotten to know my therapist and she is very perceptive, witty and interesting. Sometimes when I leave therapy I am trying still to soak in everything I took in.

After I moved here and started talking to her about angry people I would come across in public (they triggered me, upset me, I would get frightened). She simply said, if a person said that to me I would just walk away. In other words Medic72, that person has a problem, not you.

Currently I am members of a forum and I have noticed there are certain people that are deconstructive. I took a look at the sources and they were troubled to say the least and not particularly responsible or nice. To answer them is to validate them, so I let the moderator take control of the situation (that is her role). In fact, this person I blocked long ago because I found his problems brought on by himself. My friends who are other members who know I am level-headed will message me and say, oh it's starting up again... and I tell them to ignore it, it's noise (or at least that is what I am doing).

There's a meditation book I used to read by Melody Beattie, I think I have it all memorized now. The title of the book is The Language of Letting Go. In this book one of the topics is "hooks" - how to recognize one and how not to take the bait.

You are growing and changing everyday and if it's like me, there is a lot of trial and error! However I see you Medic72 on this forum working hard so I know that you are pushing forward. Dust yourself off and move on. Troublemakers like to just stir stuff up for the sake of doing it. You are way to smart and have come too far to be that easily manipulated!

Things are never as clear as black and white anyhow, anyone who really wants a to sincerely discuss and issue with someone know that ;-)

Good Luck, keep working hard!