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Other Our apartment burned

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Kamorth

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Someone in our building left a bike leaning against a heater. The tyres ignited and exploded. His apartment was as far away from ours as possible in the building but we lost everything anyway. We're in a hotel. I can't flush the toilet because the pipes here scream like the fire alarm. My husband has lost everything so many times so he's just numb, my best friend is part of our household too and he's lost pets' ashes and art that can't be replaced (his own originals). My stepson was in shock when he left with his adoptive parents a few hours ago. He's coming back when we find a new place but we all agreed he's better off somewhere familiar and stable for now.

It started at 4.30 am. We got out with our pets and our pjs. I'm writing this on bff's phone because he was still dressed (pulling an all nighter on a college paper) so he had his wallet and phone in his pocket.

I don't know what to do. It's been 48 hours but it feels like years. Everything is going in slow motion.

Everything is gone. Everything. I keep crying over the maple leaf I saved on our first family outing with just the four of us. A 3 year old dead leaf.
 
Someone in our building left a bike leaning against a heater. The tyres ignited and exploded. His apartment was as far away from ours as possible in the building but we lost everything anyway. We're in a hotel. I can't flush the toilet because the pipes here scream like the fire alarm. My husband has lost everything so many times so he's just numb, my best friend is part of our household too and he's lost pets' ashes and art that can't be replaced (his own originals). My stepson was in shock when he left with his adoptive parents a few hours ago. He's coming back when we find a new place but we all agreed he's better off somewhere familiar and stable for now.

It started at 4.30 am. We got out with our pets and our pjs. I'm writing this on bff's phone because he was still dressed (pulling an all nighter on a college paper) so he had his wallet and phone in his pocket.

I don't know what to do. It's been 48 hours but it feels like years. Everything is going in slow motion.

Everything is gone. Everything. I keep crying over the maple leaf I saved on our first family outing with just the four of us. A 3 year old dead leaf.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how you must be feeling.

It is understandable that you might be feeling overwhelmed. You've lost your home and all of your possessions in a single night. That is a lot to take in.

It sounds as though you, your family, friend, and pets made it safely out of the fire. And even though it may seem overwhelming now, most of those other things you will be able to replace.

It's true, you won't be able to replace the maple leaf. Nor will your friend be able to replicate the artwork lost. However, in time, you will be able to create new memories with your family, collecting new momentos along the way. And your friend can be inspired to create new, just as meaningful, works of art.

I wish I had words that could magically make things better for you. I can tell you that reaching-out for help, will make the recovery period easier to bear.

Once the initial shock wears off, you should find that time returns to a normal pace for you.

I am sending you thoughts of comfort and hugs. ?
 
I'm getting the guilt. I'm the strong one, I keep the family safe. That's my one job. I make sure everyone takes their meds and eats and hydrates and I keep them safe. I keep thinking that if i just hadn't gone to see if it was real it wouldn't have been. How stupid is that? I'm breaking down and I'm supposed to be the one who holds it together so everyone else can feel their feelings. I'm not meant to have them

They put everyone into this hotel, there are 85 of us. When I was in the elevator yesterday heading down to talk to the relief services people 3 drunk teenagers got in and started trying to grope me. I just said please don't and made some excuse about social distancing

I've got 30 years of training for dealing with trauma why can't I keep it together
 
Jesus, so sorry Kamorth.

And so. So. Happy you are all out in one piece and safe and healthy and stable.

You're not required to keep it together, everyone would be shaken up by this.

You're doing so well as much as you are. Truly, you are doing enough.

Do you know what you need most immediately, say, to get through next hour?

<< And thats about it: If hour is too much take next 10 seconds of stability, or 3 minutes. And then again. And again.

And by stability I mean getting through safely, with no further injuries to you or shock to your system.

With you and yours in spirit.
And if you are spiritual / religious, praying to whichever supports you to take good care of you and yours.
 
And you DO keep yours safe and together.

Super well. You made it out.

Just because you are feeling a lot doesn't mean you are a bad protector. :sneaky: Just because feelings are tense and rough around the edges and gutting in the core ain't mean you are doing wrong.

You are there.
Alive.
Caring.
With everyone.
Trying to get through a traumatic situation.

Totally badass and in check.
If you cry non stop during that's also a badass in check thing.
 
I've got 30 years of training for dealing with trauma why can't I keep it together

It doesn't matter how much education or training you have, there's no way to prepare yourself for when it happens to you.

You are keeping it together, the very best you can under an extremely difficult set of circumstances. You are not falling apart. You are self-aware and you are reaching out for help.

Guilt is sometimes a way for us to trick ourselves into believing we could have controlled a situation that was completely outside of our realm of control. It's easier to blame ourselves than to think random bad stuff cab simply up-end our lives without warning.

But you did nothing wrong, and I think deep down you already know this. This was a horrible accident. Not your fault at all.

You are doing well. I'd encourage you to keep talking about your feelings, and reaching-out for support.

Sending you hugs. ?
 
Thank you guys so much. We just got back from sitting out at the beach eating McDonald's (cried because they asked me what kind of bagel I wanted then cried harder because they had it) and I took a couple of the clonazepam our doctor gave us to help. I think i need to sleep again. I feel like i might be able to thanks to you guys
 
Thank you guys so much. We just got back from sitting out at the beach eating McDonald's (cried because they asked me what kind of bagel I wanted then cried harder because they had it) and I took a couple of the clonazepam our doctor gave us to help. I think i need to sleep again. I feel like i might be able to thanks to you guys

Sweet dreams. I hope the sleep refreshes you mind, body, and soul. ?
 
Thanks so much guys. I do feel better after some sleep. We spent the first day running around getting clothes and stuff to keep us sane like meds and books and colouring pencils for some reason. Yesterday was more running around. Mark has clonazepam for emergencies and stubborn panic attacks and when the doctor refilled it he messed up and gave us 120 instead of 10 so Mark and Tyler had me take a couple of those and put me to bed.
 
Sounds you are taking good care of each other, that is amazing and keep it up.

Also good to have creative distractions like coloring, that there's a sense of continuation matters so so much.

Yeah I can imagine the panic attacks to persist a good long while but hey, every day everyone got through to the end of it mostly alright, is a good day. ;)

Keep your head up, and rest it when you can't, both are doing good. :hug:
 
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