^This issue about falling apart after the crisis is quite common. It's a human response. I guess the good thing is once that phase has set in, once you're through that some sort of normalcy might be able to return?
Indeed it is, just for the people like us the falling apart can be more intense I think. Maybe.
Anyway. I believe it is wearing out though I am still touchy and highly susceptible to triggers.
Like, this morning I had huge wave of energy and feeling more 'like myself'- so I've been working whilst doing dishes and laundry and majorly multitasking and catching up to all that I couldn't do before. Great! Except now the afternoon came, and something out of my control happened. Payment related. Could have been in my control last week, but WC situation and fallout after, and now it was only 50% in my control. *(getting my pay 4-5 days later than intended because of last weeks events) So, I did what is in my control and now there is nothing more I can do... BUT my brain is majorly flipping out and dissociating. Like, in span of 30 minutes I switched from working at desk while multitasking, to finishing the last work tasks trembling in bed with a cup of burning hot coffee (3 in 1- only thing that calms me) and fighting waves of dissociation until I finished. And now having finished that and needing to hope for everything to go fast, I am feeling like a truck ran me over again and I can't make any plans for this evening- it needs to be whatever I manage so I feel calm.
So yeah...I think I'm getting back on track but I suppose couple more days are needed.
Oh, me too! I'm supposed to go out everyday for therapy, but the two days I managed it I was so highly triggered - once because I thought a man had a gun in a parking garage, and the 2nd time my left neighbor had to confront me about a situation that happened last year. I don't know if it's worth the fallout just to go out
I totally get it! I've had times when going out was very very hard! Last time it was this summer for few weeks. I believe I was closing the blinds after 4PM cause even that was too much. It was really hard time. But I can attest that this part does get better for sure, both about going out in general and the therapy part. At least your neighbour confronting you should be a one-off thing, right? Not likely to repeat. I would say though, therapy wise, that if you're doing talk therapy talking through the trauma that is always intense and there is inevitable fallout(at least for me there was) so if you're doing it daily or every other day I would literally schedule time for resting and fallout after. That sounds intense, like outpatient or something... is it helpful? Hope it gets easier soon!
