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@Junebug so you are dealing with a ton of grief...... be kind to yourself and take time to let things settle in. Grief, takes time to deal with and to comprehend all of the emotions that come with it.....:hug:
 
Thank you @She Cat for being so kind. :notworthy: :hug: Sept 24th was also my mom's birthday. I miss her because I take care of other peoples' parents, family, children, spouses, but pretty much lack all of those. It's actually painful sometimes, reminders I mean.

My coworker he said "I could see you living to 100" (someone turned 100) & out slipped "OMG I hope not. For others' sake & my own". I have nothing here, except one unpredictable sibling I worry for, & 2 I haven't seen for decades (abuse). I find it hard to see a reason, or feel value, or/+ feel any value or desire to even do what I work at. Just a replaceable body. (These are not transient thoughts, I exist despite them.)
 
@Junebug Certain dates for people can either bring joy, or sorrow. Reminders.... yes, I agree with you on that one, they can be painful.

Giggled when I read that you don't want to live to 100.... shit, I didn't want to live to how old I am NOW!!!!! But, I'm here for a reason and so are all of us here. What that reason is....... All of us will have to wait and see....
 
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