Outcome; Narcissistic Mom, Emotionally Absent Dad

[Escape Goat]

A quick "joke":

Q:
What happens when a child is raised "like a mushroom" by a narcissistic mother and an emotionally absent father?

A:
By the time he's done high school
He's become nothing but a fool
Laughing stock for all, now just a tool
A young man who is seriously not cool

Note: "raised like a mushroom" means kept in the dark and fed only horse sh*t

 

[lostforgottensoul]

A joke?

A young man who is seriously not cool

I would beg to differ on that assesment.

It's hard when you are raised without what you need, i know. :hug:s

 

[Muted]

I guess I'm not finding the humor in that. I think that sounds very sad.

 

[Escape Goat]

Yes, actually it is sad although their motive seems to read like some kind of misguided protectionism. I can't figure out anything else and either way it doesn't matter that much, considering I finished high school in 1980.

It is only after many years of counseling that I've come to find my true sense of self. Thanks to an upbringing rife with hypocrisy, I had many opportunities taken away from me.

Like any narcissistic parent, gaslighting all facts and all answers to my Q's were their hallmarks. In those bygone times I couldn't tell what was real from what was not, what was appropriate from what was not, or how to behave in any way without getting everybody so upset. Even my eyes look vacant in photos taken of me during those earlier times of my life.

It also became clear to me that Mom and I cannot live in the same city even if we are in separate buildings and in different neighborhoods. Last spring I moved to another city 6 hours drive away and it is the best and biggest favor I've done for myself.

By physically distancing myself from Mom, I now lead my life my way with my choices and Now I have a lot going for me without her demands and senseless interference. All contact with her is limited and measured.

Suffice it to say that when Mom finally passes on, there will be no tears from me.

 

[Muted]

I'm sorry for your pain @Escape Goat. Nothing can give you back those years or those opportunities or even the parents you should have had. It's ok to grieve that and feel angry and hurt and anything else you feel. None of this was your fault!

Take all the time you need to grieve. But, at some point we all have to choose wether we are going deal with the past, but keep moving forward or if we are going to let them consume not only our past but our future too... you have time and you have future opportunities and your now physically free, but emotional affects can rob our future if we don't deal with them. You mention the vacant look in your eyes in the past photos...do it for him, he needs you to...

 

[Tinyflame]

No, it is very wrong to do to your child, or anyone. :( I'm very sorry. :(

It is only after many years of counseling that I've come to find my true sense of self.

Stick with that. You are ahead. Some people never find it.

:hug: (if ok).

 

[ladee]

I understood the 'joke' as I use humor and sarcasm to hide behind when I am hurt.
Great that you moved away.
Sounds like you are on the journey of healing.
This is a great place to be when no one understands like someone who has been where you are.
Gentle hugs if you accept.

 

[Escape Goat]

TY all for your supportive words.

If only my family could wake up to the sordid truth but I've given up on them by now. Let them all eat cake, let them all have their twice-a-year offshore vacations and let them all enjoy having skated their ways to the American Dream without any struggle.

My entourage of friends are my new "family". Among them is a new girlfriend who sees past my oddities and my being a low-income earning Asperger-autistic and for my true self that I struggled so long to find.

And Mom, I'm sorry to say but as a parent, you FAILED dismally. As for my not being there for you anymore, suck it up buttercup.