Outcome Of Family Issue

[Nicolette]

Thanks Herc, Lisa and Cin

I tried posting on my phone while waiting to see the Osteo as the stress of all this is now screaming out in the form of back, shoulder, neck, leg and head pains. Funny how the body works!

Anyway, the more I think about this the more I can compare it to taking a step off a cliff I have been standing on the edge of for many years. I always thought that if I took that step the pain would be worse and I would hurt even more yet, in some strange way, it has been more freeing.....bungee jumping at its best (despite being scared of heights) :occasion:

The "little girl" Mina referred too is currently struggling as she is scared of the repercussions (as there always used to be one when she ever stood out of line) but the adult is now there to protect her. It is like learning to walk again, weird yet familiar but also awkward.

As for Lisa's suggestions; I did all that this morning and we have caller ID. My sister or her husband called yesterday so I let it go to voicemail and then deleted the voicemail without even listening to it.

Anthony doesn't get what the big deal is about and he reckons I should have just grown the same set of balls I have with him :rolleyes: however its not that simple as its like going through detox to undo all the bad before I can start fresh.

In a lot of ways I know I feel free....I finally did it! What it was only matters to me so I am not interested in their reactions. I must say that before blocking all the emails today I did send one more just to my sister yesterday telling her I would rather be alone in life than to have her as a part of mine. That felt good too.

My therapist said he thought I needed to face my mum, another said let it be but I think the situation which was right presented itself.

The guilt will be a struggle; always has been but I think now that I have no confusion in how I want to act then that struggle will only lessen over time.

Thanks to everyone for your support :Hug_emoticon:

 

[anni]

Hi Nicolette,

That whole series of posts just gave me tears- not out of being upset myself but I'm just so dam tired of stupid, senseless dam meaness. I cannot tell you how similar this is to things in my husband's family, and GOD it's hard to not engage them and perpetuate their need to inflict pain. The problem is that one keeps expecting them to make some sort of SENSE and they never do- the logical part of one's head endlessly expects that somewhere in all this craziness is a genuine PERSOn you can REACH, you know? It's beyond what our heads can fathom that at the bottom of these people is just plain, unstoppable, unquenchable 'mean'!

It's all they have, you know. This stupid world of hate they've immersed themselves in is the only way they feel they have 'power' over anybody, and for some reason power is what is crave. What a horrible way to live, but I sure as heck don't have it in me to feel sorry for them. It's their choice, just like it's our choice not to buy into that crap however hard that is.

Sorry to rant, but I think you did incredibly well and wished to say so. For what it's worth, F. Scott Peck has an amazing book called ' People of the Lie'. It's basically about the justifications people have to build for themselves in order to maintain the lies by which they structure their lives. I re-read my copy on a regular basis because he really comforts one by identifying how exactly right one is to excise these poisonous people out of our lives.

It's nice to see what a warm and lovely person came out of all that dreck you left behind. They didn't win.

Take care,

Anni

 

[AthenaErdmann]

Seriously, Nicolette... WOW!
Good on you for not only shutting the door but also locking it and throwing away the poisonous key.

I second this. I also was totally stunned to read the first email - it was unbelievably base, mean and low. You deserve so very, very much better than that! Be kind to that little girl inside, both she and the adult you are worth it.

((hugs)) if you want them.

Athena