Childhood Overcoming C-PTSD Trauma: Seeking Support and Healing - Nightmares & Flashbacks of when my uncle beat me & auntie sexually assaulted me

[omondisaaco]

I have been having nightmares and flashbacks, my uncle beat me so much at the age of 10 to 13 and this has made me feel that I am a bad person and even my aunty slept with me at age of 9 and I really hate myself because I am ashamed I can't fight for myself even at this age i fill shame I can’t fight for myself i deserve all this and I blame myself, and I will never forgive myself because my late sister died when she had expected me to go visit her the husband told me that she cooked my favourite meal and waited but I never showed up, as an LGBTQ I have been sexually assaulted by the person that was helping me escape from my country after being caught with my boyfriend, I really hate myself and I feel worthless and the world is not a place for me to live I don't know what to do everything just irritate me

 

[mszl]

Hi @omondisaaco to the forum. It's good you found this place. It's very well moderated and I find it very safe to open to the people. Your story is heartbreaking. I'm sorry you suffered so much from the ones close to you and had to flee country because love someone.

The feelings you experience are 100% valid to have after such trauma. But it is possible to manage them and let them go away. For now, try not to beat yourself for having them. Trust me you're not to blame here. Take care of yourself as you'd care for loved ones.

It would be the best if you could do some therapy. But I know, it's not always possible. Coming here is already a big step.

Have some hugs for now!

 

[omondisaaco]

Hi @omondisaaco to the forum. It's good you found this place. It's very well moderated and I find it very safe to open to the people. Your story is heartbreaking. I'm sorry you suffered so much from the ones close to you and had to flee country because love someone.

The feelings you experience are 100% valid to have after such trauma. But it is possible to manage them and let them go away. For now, try not to beat yourself for having them. Trust me you're not to blame here. Take care of yourself as you'd care for loved ones.

It would be the best if you could do some therapy. But I know, it's not always possible. Coming here is already a big step.

Have some hugs for now!

Thank you