Pain Meds Contributing To Depression And Anxiety?

[ellebelle]

I will preface this post with the admission that I have always been a self-medicating individual. Though I've never been a full blown drug addict, it has always been clear that I have addictive tendencies and these, combined with either depression or anxiety, do not mix, and so I always proceed with caution.

So, about three months ago I injured my back somehow, most likely in the garden. At this time, things were fine, I began physical therapy and took tramadol and some flexeril for the pain.

Then my PT went on maternity leave. And the owner, on his first appointment, had me alone in a room and was underneath my shorts (unannounced and without asking for a pelvic bone examination) in less than 20 minutes. In addition to a few other questionable things he did during that visit, my panic attacks returned and for the past few weeks I've been a damned emotional mess.

Basically, during this time, he further injured my back and so a -real- doctor put me on lortabs for an annular tear.

I cannot take these, the nightmares they provoke are unheard of. Also, the suicidal thoughts, depression and anxiety attacks tempt me to go in the kitchen and toss back an entire bottle.. I've been so emotional the past week, it's ridiculous.

Anyone have any experience on dealing with pain and NOT taking the damned pain killers? The last thing I need right now is a drug dependency and withdrawal depression.

I've decided to stop taking everything so as not to compound my problems, and even stopped taking my daily 70mg of Vyvanse since I recognize the PTSD panic attacks coming back full force. Neither have I touched the bottle of rum in the cabinet (well except the day that asshole PT had his nice little exam).. And yet my husband jokingly made the comment that I've just "been staying home getting high on my pain killers all day" and I nearly went to tears, brokenhearted, in the kitchen as I hadn't taken a single thing. Needless to say, I did after that.

Geez, what a mess, sorry for such a long post with little to no back history.

 

[The Albatross]

I recognized very early on that I have an addictive personality. I have had various injuries and surgeries with little Rx pain medications. I request half prescriptions with no refils after a surgery. And tough it out. It can be exhausting to be frank.

I am allergic to NSAID's which complicates things a good deal. But refused the suggestion for the tramadol (an opiate). Preferring instead to go through the reaction to the NSAID's and physical discomfort. I'm not familiar with the other Rx drugs you mention except I too have had increased symptoms with certain Rx drugs... for me usually random suicidal thoughts and stuff.

For me, I am more afraid of an unhealthy dependence on a substance, than I am physical pain. I just had a knee injury last week and refused the pain meds.

You are recognizing that you are experiencing difficulties, and that you have a pattern of pain avoidance. You have been aware of this and thought, up to your husband's comment that you had it in check. Perhaps it is time to reexamine your behaviors and in his flip and insensitive way, he is indicating that you may have less a handle on this than you thought you did? Forgive me for saying this, but your reaction to his statement was to medicate. That is a big red flag. It was using meds for emotional pain, not for physical pain.

As far as the other PT, I would definitely address it with the company and file a complaint. I don't know where you are but here in the states, a woman must be present to perform that type of examination. I am a bit perplexed that a physical therapist would do this??? I smell a rat. I would likely also go back to your referring physician and tell him/her what you experienced and what if any recourse you have. If nothing else, he may think twice before referring another client to that agency.

 

[ellebelle]

Oh most definitely.. It's been a few weeks but I have every intention of filing a complaint against him with the board (I'm actually in the states a well, the owner is actually European). I haven't been back to that office since the incident.

And you are spot on about everything.. I definitely medicated in response to emotional reasons after his comment. I'm considering just throwing it all in the trash. I did a short stint on heavy drugs after most major emotional triggers in my life, and thankfully it's been at least 6 years since, so I refuse to go back that route.

I'm glad to hear you have been able to just toughen up and skip the meds, that's one thing I'm really unsure about, but really needing to do. I didn't realize pain avoidance had completely taken over my life in nearly every way, but after thinking about it, that's exactly what it is.. I try to stick to over the counter meds and NSAIDs as much as possible to minimize my headaches and the like, but I really need to cut back on those to be honest (I can't imagine fighting through an allergy, my hats off to you for that one, though I do have to be careful with stomach ulcers).

 

[The Albatross]

Very glad Ellebelle that my post was well received, it wasn't an easy one to write. Perhaps a med review by your pharmacist can help you to determine your course of medicines and identify whether any or all are addictive. I do that before I let my doc prescribe anything, and the pharmicist helps me to ask for lower risk ones when I absolutely have to take them. They basically know, if it's habit forming or addictive, my arm can be twisted for a short time... but no refills and I will deal with the rest with heat and ice or (like this week) the NSAID's if I absolutely have to. Before this injury, I had a gall bladder surgery in November and I had an Rx for 15 loratab (sp?) I only used about 8 and I gave the rest back to be destroyed. (I don't believe in flushing or throwing away meds... I turn them in.)

The take away is that you've got prior experiences with this to go on. You know that you (like I) have the propensity for addictive substances. I hope that your injury (the reason you were medicating and doing the PT) improves and that there will be little discomfort in the long term. It wasn't the nicest thing your husband could have said, but it got your attention and you were able to open up and question about it. That's a big plus.

Be well gal.