The pandemic has brought up a weird reality that all of a sudden, so many people emphasize that everyone poses a potential infectious threat.
It is true. To some degree it has been true for awhile, and will be true for awhile.
It is also not really helpful for my PTSD riddled brain. My PTSD brain takes that input and says "YEP, everyone is a THREAT. Better be ready to RUN or FIGHT all the time."
This more alarmed approach is going to wear me and my immune system out.
While I need the part of this that is being cautious and socially distanced in public, I don't need to be jumping at my own shadow. I also don't want to end up on the other side of this afraid to walk out my own door, but here I am, afraid to walk out my own door. Staying indoors 24-7 is not possible for me. I have to walk my dog and be outside or I will go nutty in other ways. In fact, eventually, I will have to go back into my job, which is working with the public in a role that is critical infrastructure in 6-8 weeks and probably ride it out for the second wave of infections. (We'll see what I end up doing and if a job change is possible, warranted, or not.)
I'm purposefully taking my dog for walks where I will pass humans at far distance (at least 50-100ft away.) Frankly, it's fairly impossible to find a place to walk where there isn't any humans at all. But my brain flipped this week from, "oh hum, going to be smart and wash my hands and wave hello from far away" to "OMG THERE IS A HUMAN 300 YARDS AWAY, THEY COULD INFECT ME WITH HORRIBLE RESPIRATORY SUFFERING, BE READY TO RUN."
This is going to be a long pandemic if every time I see a human I'm going to respond like I'm ready to fight a bear off.
Anyone else dealing with this? Anything help balance things out?
I'm good until I get in a store or a situation where kids come near me....in my head....they are the subtle covid carriers....happy, healthy and infected......and they touch everything in the store....and parental supervision out in public is lacking, many don't have a mask on-like in a store, and many stores don't require masks for entry. I had not traveled to another destination other than a grocery store or doctor's office till last week. I was so excited...to go to the beach and try out my new kayak..the plan...get there early, launch my new kayak....and paddle away from shore....it worked....till we went back to the beach........the beach experience was amazing....but here comes this little kid, I'm sitting on my towel, running at me like 3 ft away and I wave my arms, shooing him away, and said in haste "Go away!" (how mean sounding) and he did....maybe he was four years old. He did....but I felt that was so.....grumpy.....and actually out of character...and then later a realization hit.....I bet, cause he's home with his mom, she says "go away more and he's sensitized to it" but I felt guilty...But what else do you say to a four year old to let him know to keep his distance when Mom's not even watching? I think the virus, germs, infection, scare us all and noone wants to be sick.....I had a collapsed lung 3 months ago....getting covid isn't gonna happen...I hope. But the trip to the beach...an amazing memory!