Paperwork as a trigger

[Red Feather]

Today my social worker started sorting out the stacks of paper that are cluttering my apartment. I feel so ashamed of myself that I need her help. And I am having intrusive thoughts and dissociation now.

When I was married I was so dependant on my ex to do the paperwork. I didn't speak the German, so it was even harder for me back then. After getting kicked out, I started taking care of my own paperwork. It was such a huge step for me to get my own bank account for example.

I am probably really lucky to have her. Does anybody else have problems doing their paperwork? Do social workers come to your house to help out in other countries? I feel like I have this luxury, and don't feel like I deserve it.

I am also really scared to get to attached to her. I think this trauma related, because I was so dependant of my ex and he was so abusive because of that. I think that is why it is hard for me. I am wondering if I should tell her.

 

[Chrissyy]

I don't think you need to feel ashamed for needing her help to sort out paperwork, I think it's quite common with support workers in the UK to help with things like that. I think you should speak to her about how worried you are that you'll get attached and maybe you'll be able to work out something together to help with that.

 

[Deleted member 17790]

I suffer from the same thing when my PTSD is triggered - trauma can shut down up to 30% of the frontal lobe so all the bits that do organisation, sequencing, language, numbers etc close down so it's actually unreasonable to expect myself to do administration and paperwork when I'm in a post trauma response. In Sydney there are no social workers to get access to so I have no-one to assist. I tell people I'm sick and that they have to wait.

It's horrible that most people don't understand this......

Good you can get help

 

[Red Feather]

Thank you Chrissy and Sidneysider :).

I talked to my support worker Fr. W today about it. I had to cry. I think it is definetly a trigger for me, because I am so afraid of sorting through the piles and get so emotional. I told her it felt so wrong of me to be getting help for this, because I'm afraid of getting dependant. Fr. W said that if I were to get dependant on her she wouldn't be doing her job right, and that the support is meant for me to gradually learn how to do it on my own.

She is a real blessing. She was worried. She seems to think that she is the one making me cry, but it is not her at all. It's hard to explain it.