Parent expects to be parented

[Supervixn]

Does anyone else deal with a parent who expects to be taken care of and gets emotionally abusive when their mind and needs aren't read?

 

[ladee]

That's the way the sperm donor was.. he's dead now, thank God... but it was constant drama, guilt tripping, shaming, pouting, and verbally abusive.... he thought my oldest sister did no wrong... so she got stuck with him.. I walked away.

 

[lostnconfused]

Hi. Yes. Have you looked up Narcissistic Personality Disorder, to see whether it sounds similar to what you're going through? If it is, there are also articles written by therapists/psychologists that give advice on how children/adult children can help protect themselves while dealing with their parents' behavior. Reading them has helped me feel less alone, discover that it wasn't my fault, etc., so, perhaps it might help you, too. :hug:

 

[PeTerSD]

I know this experience so well.

It seems so unfair to be expected to raise/support "parents" who were, at least in my case, not there for me, emotionally, at all. I find myself too often caught up in my mother-child's melodrama and emotional vortex. The expectation of mind-reading is the worst for me..I'm pretty good at it though I am ashamed to say! I used to pride myself on how accurately I could guess my parents' needs..makes me very sad now though.

 

[Supervixn]

Totally relate... now in June Im moving her in with me from another state because her house is being foreclosed on, she's disabled and none of my siblings will help her. I know she's going to drive me insane. Luckily she is old enough to find a senior living place but she wants me to figure everything out for her. I pay for cabs and ubers for her so she doesnt have to ride the bus because it 'hurts her back so much', which may be true but I never know whats true or exaggerated. She got mad at me the other day because I didn't somehow read her mind that she was going somewhere and therefore was waiting for a bus. I tell her every time I call her, which it's always me myself reaching out never her, I always tell her to let me know when she's going to the Dr or the grocery store so I can get an uber. She doesn't tell me then gets mad when when I don't know she's going somewhere and chooses to ride the bus.

It will be a weird situation having her live with me and my child, because she's so fiercely independent and has used that against people forever. She is the kind of person who will remember something she bought you when you were 12 and bring it up when you're 30. She brings up every done she thinks you ever owe her, like every motherly thing deserves payment. Now she will be in my home. Under my rules. It's causing me a lot of worry Idk how I'll get through it without us going at it. Pray for me, please!

 

[Friday]

Luckily she is old enough to find a senior living place but she wants me to figure everything out for her.

Between now & June seems like maybe enough time to find her a place?