Parts? Dissociation Confusion


Just wondering if anyone has advice on this.

My therapist told me it sounds like I could have dissociated parts. I've been suspecting that for a couple years, so I'm not shocked. She's recently been referring to them as maybe functioning as separate people or even having their own names. Again, I've wondered about that, but hearing it from a professional is very confusing and stressful. If I do have parts, I don't know how to communicate with them at all. They don't really respond to notes I leave and usually don't speak in my head. Mostly, all I can do is "repress" them and keep them in and hidden.

I'm simultaneously very scared that this is real and I do have parts and scared it's not which would mean I'm just faking which I'd feel horrible about. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has advice on getting through this part of healing/possible diagnosis. It's been very overwhelming recently.


I was communicating verbally with adult language. Got me nowhere. My T suggested being more tactile, think of colours, don't use words, more actions, to try and communicate. Because some parts might be very young. And communicating in an adult way is not something those parts are at developmentally.
She also suggested that the really little parts may not know that adult me exists. That blew my mind bit. But then, through very sad life events, (i.e my actions trying to protect and advocate for my nephews and nieces), it seemed to trigger little me knowing adult me was here and able to care. And that started a dialogue that was less about words but more about feelings.

So maybe try different forms of communicating?
Wholeheartedly agree with this. I colored a lot, watched kids' videos, got stuffed animals to sleep with so they felt safe.

For the younger parts, think how you would talk to and play with a child. That really worked for me. A really helpful book for me was Amongst Ourselves, by Tracy Alderman and Karen Marshall. It's specifically for those with DID, but has a lot of great info in it.


I just read my own response and it’s not quite right. It’s not as hard anymore, and I’m much more like my other part, the only one I really deal with. Meaning I’m allowed. That’s the part that’s easier. Knowing why. Like why is that feeling so overwhelming? It was the pretending or repression that was so hard. Anyway it’s nice to read all the responses. I never dealt with the sad part because he’s sad. I haven’t been able to do sad, I don’t know if I’ll ever do it now. It’s a good thread thx.


She's recently been referring to them as maybe functioning as separate people or even having their own names.

I dissociate. I’ve lost some pretty significant time. I don’t do parts work.

Below is from one of the better explanations I’ve given as to why.

For me? I already broke, and broke badly. It took me a long ass time to duct tape all my broken pieces back together in quasi-working fashion ... and re-fragmenting myself? Into even more broken pieces, along new fault lines, in addition to the old ones? Is just a reeeeeeally bad idea. FUBAR bad. Hence IFS is really not useful to me.

I know a helluva lot of people who didn’t break. More like they origami’d... folding the parts of themselves that they can’t deal with, right now, away. Until they almost become 2 dimensional representations of themselves. These are the people I see IFS work great for IF...
  • A good therapist? Is able to help unfold those pieces. Reintroducing the shape and structure of those pieces to the whole, giving them their proper place, (not folded away, sometimes under layers and layers of folds until they’re invisible and not just out of the way but completely obscured or forgotten). And voila! (Long process made short ;)) A 3 dimsenional self starts emerging.
  • A shit therapist? (IMO) hands over the scissors and has their client start cutting along the folds :banghead:creating broken pieces, fragmented selves, artificial separation. (For a few different reasons, ranging from laziness, to wanting a sexy client, to well intentioned idiot; assessing the problem wrongly and creating far more problems).
So, FWIW, how I see it

- Is a person Fragmented or Folded (where are they starting from?)
- What do they need to learn? (What brings them together instead of distancing?)
- How good is their therapist?


I just wanted to thank you to @daisydew for starting and continuing this thread, I made a similar post yesterday but I was in a bad place. I’m not even sure it was “me” who wrote it, I have 2 (relatively) ANP’s (me and the one who I think wrote that post yesterday.) I don’t have really any advice for you, but I have a very similar experience of parts, sometimes I lose time and other times it’s this “blurry half forgetting” like someone said. I’ll find it and quote them directly My parts especially the little ones don’t respond to notes either or in the event that they do, it’s almost me, “the mod”, translating for them, in my handwriting and adult-ish language. also thank you to everyone who responded!
I am finding this whole conversation to be hugely helpful. This is basically the situation I’m finding myself in right now.

edit: “the weird, half-forgetting, blurry type I mostly have” was the actual quote, from @daisydew 🙂
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