Passed Up A Job

[Gamereign555]

I have been looking for work pretty hard lately. I finally got the call, did the interview, did the drug test and then told them it wasn't going to work out. The job entailed driving which used to be one of my fears that I had conquered and I knew it going into the job that there was going to be driving.

I decided that this was just fear driving me and to go ahead and apply for the job anyway. As I got the interview, drug test, basically as they said okay your in wait for our call, my anxiety started peaking to higher and higher levels over the next few days until I finally called them up and told them I would have to decline.

Only then did I start to feel better. I feel like such a fool to pass up a job. Now I feel like I can't drive by myself anywhere, I get anxious with my breathing and all that, this is out of nowhere for me. I go from wanting a job to pretty much getting it to declining it and being unable to drive like a normal person.

 

[The Albatross]

Interviewing and accepting a job, is you looking them over just as much as they are looking you over. There's no shame in reconsidering whether or not you want the position. You made a decision based on some self knowledge. It's okay to make a responsible decision.

No beating yourself up. Maybe you can challenge yourself some on driving as this experience could be used for motivation to improve in that area. No job stress... just setting up some pleasurable driving excursions and desensitizing til your stress level decreases?

 

[Poppycocteau]

It wasn't foolish to pass up the job - if it was going to result in such anxiety, then the job wouldn't have ended well anyway, which is just more stress to cope with, and more detrimental effects on your health in the long run. Starting a new job is hard enough for anyone, so expecting yourself to start such a difficult job in the first place isn't something you should feel bad about not being able to manage.You can't force yourself to face fears all of the time - it has to be taken slowly. Perhaps there was a time when even the idea of applying and being interviewed for it would have been too much to cope with? In this case, the fact that you did this should be seen as evidence of how far you've come with conquering that fear.

I had to pass up a job offer I got for Pret-A-Manger (sandwich shop/cafe chain) because I knew I wouldn't be able to cope with the noise and people, because I'm Autistic. At the time I felt rubbish, because I was just coming to terms with my recent diagnosis of Autism and didn't quite grasp the full implications of it, and I was filled with guilt as how useless I was at having a job generally, but it's obvious to me now, looking back, that even attempting it would have been a frustrating waste of time for all concerned, and would have resulted in me being terribly stressed and ill. Look after yourself first - and don't feel bad!

 

[Gamereign555]

Thank you both for your comments and advice. I don't feel quite as bad anymore after releasing some of that tension and I'm no longer getting angry now that I have decided not to take the job and have realized why I didn't.

One good thing to come of this I think is that I have decided to start driving more on my own a little bit further every day and I can kind of feel myself coming back more.

I think maybe knowing that they wanted me for my skills and I would be driving put me over the edge of comfort.
I could be that no matter how used to driving I get that I will still be somewhat afraid of it. Since I take my work so seriously I see the fear as a weakness and that makes me anxious I believe.

Surely there could be a job out there for me that doesn't require driving all over the place all day, I'll just have to hold out I guess. :)