DID Passive Influence

[AlishaK]

I don't have DID but rather Other Specified Dissociative Disorder or OSDD. I have "alters" but don't generally have amnesia anymore when switching. I used to though.

The reason I am replying is I used to have blind rage explosions. This statement...Really struck home. Didn't have any idea what I was saying until it was over. I would throw stuff. It was nuts. I was at work once throwing chairs then "woke up" hiding under a cubicle.

My therapist really taught me how to feel all of this coming on. It was triggered by anxiety. So, if I could feel that before ir happened, I could get away from what was causing it. I never learned how to not be blind during it though. I never learned how to control it. It's horrible. But, it may help to learn what triggers it and learn how to feel it coming on.

Not sure if that helps but thought I would throw it out there.

This hasn't happened with me for years, actually. I just remember it happening a few times when arguing with significant others, who were then no longer significant others. I worry that one day it will happen again. It is possible that it is because I do not express anger, and am not comfortable with it, so if I do, it comes out huge. It may have nothing to do with the so called, "passive influence".

 

[lostforgottensoul]

It may have nothing to do with the so called, "passive influence".

I wasn't able to understand what you mean by "passive influence". Do you mean other alters influencing it?

I worry that one day it will happen again

I do as well. It was happening with my parents when they lived with me. I was able to practice learning what triggers it and how to feel that anxiety building and getting myself out of the situatuin before I exploded and "went blind". The anxiety builds fast. From a triggering event to the "blind" explosion, it could be 30 seconds or less. It's fast. So feeling it before it happened only gave me a few seconds. Maybe 5 or 10, to get myself out of the situation like in another room behind a locked door but it worked to stop it. I'm wondering if you can be taught how to feel it and get yourself out of the situation before hand so it never starts.

I don't think you can do that if it's not happening though. I am not sure anger management classes would help because it really has little if nothing to do with anger, for me, and everything to do with anxiety. Something like DBT would help as that helps you learn how to ground and how to control all emotions. Helps you learn how to distract as well. It helps you learn how to stablize all emotions. Including anxiety. Learning some good anxiety lowering skills can help. Good grounding skills will help to. And then working on your systems. Asking your alters what they need. Trying to fullfill that will help too I think because then they may not feel the need to take over when that time comes, you know?

Hopefully that all makes a bit of sense. DID and OSDD alters are really the same except OSDD doesn't have the amnesia when switching. So, I can opening talk to each alter and interact with each so that maybe different for you.

 

[Cypress]

The passive influence will probably get better when you learn to differentiate your adult self feelings from the trauma driven feelings of your parts. I used to and still do find myself feeling angry or fearful for no obvious reason. When I used to have these powerful feelings I would attribute to something in my environment and not be aware it was something internal and would wind up getting into arguments or being suspicious of people. Now when it happens and grounding doesn’t help, I know it’s a part and that I need to ask inside.

 

[Keen]

I agree that if you heard your self say something you didn't want to say (and you have DID), then that is pretty active, and probably means you were co-conscious during that experience.
I think of passive influence like when others/parts/alters are putting thoughts/feelings into me when I'm out front. So like, for example, I'm talking to someone about a political view and an alter with a different view is distracting me in my mind with their opposing view. Or, I am enjoying a date with a friend, but an alter who doesn't want to be there is feeling upset and I can feel that even while I'm enjoying myself but its hard to have their feelings ruining the moment. But I may have the term wrong.