People Just Don't Understand.

[FindingMyself88]

People just don't understand anxiety and PTSD… I don't know if anyone read my post about roommate drama, but long story short, my roommate threw a tantrum and started slamming doors. That is a HUGE trigger for me because my dad and his now ex wife abused me as a child and they also fought violently. One time he pulled a gun on her. I remember them slamming things and sometimes it would be them against me. They would throw me in a room, slam the door and lock it from the outside where I couldn't get out. So when my roommate did this the other night, I had already had a bad day and it through me into a full flashback and panic attack, then eventually I just went numb and zoned out. Both roommates know I have PTSD but neither know the real details. Well today this roommate apologizes to us through text about being mad (she doesn't know about what happened to me yet). So when I respond I asked her to just talk to us next time and explain that her slamming doors triggered me. Her response was "You know I throw tantrums, just don't pay attention to me lol."

I wanted to say it's not that easy, but my other roommate replied and was like I am glad we can all handle this like adults. So I just dropped the issue. If I was able to not pay attention to things that trigger me, I wouldn't have anxiety! I can't stop the flashbacks, not when they hit so hard. So many people I know think that anxiety and panic attacks happen only when you over think things. Do any of you ever experience these thoughts from people? It makes me feel really invalidated...

 

[Notsowild]

Wow yes yes & yes @FindingMyself88
Nobody understands me either. Even my children, they try hard to understand but it's just too much for them. I try to hide it from my co-workers even though my symptoms come out at work. It's a lonely place living with PTSD

 

[onesie]

Definitely. I have all the above. You are not alone. Ptsd is lonely, and even with having this condition, it is still unimaginable. I hope your roommate grows up soon. Her tantrums are uncalled for. Tell her to take a walk and cool off. Anyways, I wish you the best. I am so sorry for what caused this in your life. Be strong.

 

[Justmehere]

wow... PTSD or not, children throw tantrums, not healthy adults! I'm sorry she just excused her behavior instead of trying to understand the impact of her tirade. I can relate to what you wrote about people who just don't get it. I was anxious for something that is a HUGE trigger for me, and a friend who knows I have PTSD told me, "Just stop psyching yourself out." I remember thinking, "Oh, why didn't I think of that..." If only it was so easy as to just not pay attention... sigh.

 

[onesie]

I agree. I hate when people say, "just get over it". Or, you're nothing but drama. They have no idea. It's not like I woke up when I was five and asked for men to hurt me, and to deal with much abuse and trauma trauma trauma. People act like they know or understand. The only way to know, or understand, is to feel it, and or live it. Frustration is what I tend to feel.

 

[tillybee]

@onesie I hate it when they say that! Right with you on that one :)

 

[Deleted member 1860]

What an idiot. She's extremely self centered in that she feels like she can act however she wants and if it affects you then it's YOUR problem! (My grandfather was like this).

 

[FindingMyself88]

thank y'all for the validation, it helps me to realize I am not overreacting. Atleast I will only be living with her for two more weeks at most. I also hate the "You're just thinking too much" or "Why do you let it still bother you?" If I could, don't you think I would???

 

[onesie]

Right!! Do what I have chosen to do. Keep all negativity out of your life. You have to protect yourself.

 

[Ed Norton]

Indeed an extremely lonely place :-( :-( :-(

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I hate the "just don't think about it" sentiment. Actually, it makes me want to scream! I wish people could understand that we can't just stop thinking about it in a similar way to those who have OCD not being able to just stop thinking about it. (Yes, I know they're different, and not trying to start a comparison argument.) Rather, most wouldn't tell someone with OCD to just stop thinking about it, but it's ok to say it to someone with PTSD. I guess it irritates me because I have obsessions beyond PTSD (but not diagnosed with OCD). If I could just stop thinking about it I WOULD! Yeah, as if anyone would choose this! It's a case of those on the outside knowing nothing of what it's like to be held captive by your own mind. I think I'll stop while I'm ahead...

 

[shimmerz]

If these people could walk in our shoes for just 1 day I swear they would commit hari-kari. The challenges, the confusion, the fear, the flashbacks, the quick triggers, the avoidance because of my reactions to the aforementioned list and more; and then damning me for 'not being any fun anymore' or 'stop making a big deal of something that isn't'. I tell you....I am so tired of it all. I am so grateful that they don't have PTSD - but seriously there are times that I think to myself - if you could live through this for a day - just one day - the world would be a different place for all of us.