People With Parts: Do You Have To Schedule Time For Each?

[theshadowoftheliving]

I've been travelling, staying with friends for part and on business for the other part. It's meant I've had to be functional for almost a week without the chance to be any other version of myself.

Now I'm almost home and I feel like I'm cracking up. I keep trying to stuff down the parts that are trying to surface. My face keeps crumpling up like a little kid about to throw a fit and everything inside feels chaotic; I keep thinking about how I just want to be home alone so I can hug my stuffed animal. I haven't let myself be that version for a week. I couldn't. Now it's trying to get out and I'm scared I won't make it home without losing it completley and throwing a fit like a little kid.

Usually I manage this by scheduling time to be each version. But that's taking too much time sometimes - and sometimes I just can't. How do you handle it? How do you make it work?

 

[GrayOwl]

Almost 3 years of 28 days a month on the road. I don't even feel like there's a "me" anymore. I can relate.
I'm tired of feeling like I have three or four different parts. I don't have an answer. I'm tired of travelling and being split between friends, family, and jobs. I don't think its healthy.
So I'm looking for an exit to this lifestyle. Job or career change, bankruptcy, relocate, all of the above, something, whatever. Don't have the answers yet. So I keep moving on - but it gets harder and harder. It's necessary to have a place to hang your hat and call home, family or cats or a critter to greet you - at least that's what I yearn for.
I have some goals - but if I become too tired and overworked the chaos climbs into my mind and it doesn't seem worth it. I have to be careful not to push it too far or too hard - or there are emotional consequences for me. That's for sure. Hopefully I can attain a couple goals and get a little help from life and family and things will get a little saner for me.
No real answers...... stay tuned for further details I guess. Wish I could help more.
Definitely, I would caution you to be sure to schedule "me" time. That is so important. I know I need time to "decompress" my emotions, or there are consequences.
"To Thine Own Self Be True" - and there is nothing wrong with that.
Take some time and do something you really like - you've earned it after a hard week. Damn right !!

 

[UnKnown-Self]

I struggle with parts but I don't classically lose time in the traditional sense of DID.
I remind my self they are still me. For some reason I have trouble dealing with certain things and developed parts to do it. Try writing to then, talking to them but always be patient and kind because you are talking to you.

 

[Ronin]

When coping: I don't schedule.

I do what I want to & what needs get done.

When not coping so stellar: I schedule for pauses I absolutely need to be able to keep going.

Worry about the rest when I get what needs done, done.

At the time I'm in transition, I wouldn't be enough on the same page with emotionality to process it well anyway, so best to finish the transition first, see what emerges out of it on its own when I have some breathing time.

I just try to keep up pace with life & everyone at least some way up to date.
So it's more a communications & accessibility issue than time management issue.

 

[Dissociated1]

I had no choice but to split my life with my 13 year old female alter since she became self aware. The combination of dissociation and dysphoria were driving me to suicide. It was bloody two year battle to find a balance that works for us both, in sharing the body each week and in finding a middle ground for how we groom it. 1-2 days a week to live her life is a balance that has been working for 7 years now- my alter and me and my marriage. More details in Link Removed.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Thanks for the feedback. I managed to get home without a meltdown and took a nap after eating and showering. I feel better now. Still trying to sort out how to best handle all these parts but working on it. Working on it.

 

[Sideways]

It would potentially be incredibly helpful, but the idea terrifies me, so no, they don't get free time if I can help it:blackeye:

 

[UnKnown-Self]

@theshadowoftheliving
Do you coexist or split ( totally lose time)?

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

@Ragdoll Circus That was always my plan. Always. But the hardcore pretending-it-doesn't exist in the fall (per request of a terrible therapist) made me try to kill myself a couple times. But accidentally. Parts slipping out and taking control. It was scary and I'm more afraid of that, now.

@Alice.in.Wonderland I guess its coexisting ... I don't think that I lose time. Atleast not really. Later I can't always account for what I did, but it is never that dramatic sort of switching that I associate with DID.

I'm still not sure if or if not I'm DID, so there's that, too.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

@theshadowoftheliving

I'm no therapist and it can be difficult to find a good trauma T.
I don't know how much reading you've done on the subject. It helps
What I find helpful to remember is all your parts are coming from a place of thinking they are helping. Unfortunately what worked at one time does not necessarily help now.
Even those parts that say negative things, are trying to help you, they just don't know any better.
Writing a lot helped me. Let it free flow. Pay attention to your body and feelings. Some will be shy and playful others aggressive. Some are doers others naysayers. Ask questions and you will get some surprising answers.
Just let the answers be and try to write them down . What you want to know and what they want to say can be two different things.
Don't be afraid. You are the one in control. I know it feels like you never have control and you are losing yourself. But remember they are all you and you are in a position to communicate and negotiate. You're a team. Not functioning well maybe but that can change.
It's a very hard, stressful and difficult path. I don't know how old you are or how long you have accepted you have parts. We each have to find our own way. You are not alone here.

 

[Deleted member 34424]

No, I don't have parts; what you see is what you get, really. My face and voice is pretty easy to read unless I make a huge effort and that takes energy, which I don't feel like I can pull that off often and for very long. Do I lie and say "I'm good" when I'm not? Of course, but everyone does that, and then I'll talk to someone I trust so I don't bottle it up. So at least that lie is being put to use somewhere else.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Sometimes my body doesn't match how I feel and it makes me really upset. It sounds crazy to me to write it here, but I don't know how to handle it and I'm now on a therapy break until I can see my new therapist next month.

It happened last night. I stayed up too late and then had a little breakdown where the child part took over and insisted on sitting with her stuffed animal. I kept closing my eyes and then I could feel being small, see my blonde hair (that doesn't match the adult hair I have) and just "know" that I was little. But then when I opened my eyes and saw my body for what it is - that of an adult woman - I felt myself get really upset and I actually started to cry (which I never do) because it didn't match me.

I don't know how to handle it or soothe this part when the discrepancy is so obvious. I know, intellectually, that the child part is just a part, and when she is out front, I'm also intellectually narrating over her with a different part, analyzing everything and commenting on my actions. But she just gets so upset, and the more upset she gets, the stronger she gets. How do I placate her?