Peppermint And Chilli

[wife of]

OMG we actualy have a little sunshine today and today is going well so far,mind you its only 10;30 so theres still plenty of time to put that right...lol....Hubby doing ok,he was a wee bit disappointed at having a small fb yesterday but hey,it was one small one,fingers crossed for this new med,we soooo need a breakthrough.Have a nice peaceful night mate...Sue...

 

[Jimmy1]

Koala, you should read the rules.

Basically the only rule is that you have to be a veteran (some exceptions), and that you don't have an all out attack on another person on the site. Thats the basis anyway.

Link Removed

 

[track108]

I try not to swear on here because i have a a problem with it in real life. most notably the f word. If i dont watch myself every other word is f.

 

[Jimmy1]

I agree. Because when you type you are thinking about what you are typing, and you can re-read it before pressing submit. Whereas when you are in an anger fit and speaking or yelling, you say things and don't even know it sometimes.
Then again, the 'F' word describes how you feel, and its good for describing. Shit, its in the Oxford dictionary. lmao.

Just my thoughts.

Jimmy

 

[Koala]

Jimmy,

I was in the army for a number of years, I have major issues with rules and authority now... lol
Tried reading the rules but the link was broken so I read the post you did for Track108, all good.
Other forums don't like swearing so I just naturally mod the words.

I do agree with your post above though, I am the same, I use it more often than what civi's normally accept, especially in my work place. Would be a HR complaint waiting to happen if I really started to let loose. But then again you are correct that I am thinking before putting on the page and therefore editing the truth and taking some emotion out..

BTW, had a good day today. Have managed to take some of the emotion out of work. Also experimenting with games, I read an article that some therapists in the US are experimenting with First Person Shooter games as a form of therapy. From what I suspect helps you differ real world from game world and helps the mind make that distinction in regards to flash backs, trauma world vs real world. Started playing the other night, and for the first time in months I managed to have a laugh today.

Koala

 

[Jimmy1]

Yeah I hear what your saying about editing the truth. Sometimes i want to say shit, get it typed up, then exit. Talk about being a procrastinator. I hate making decisions now. Even if its about whats for dinner. lmao.

 

[Koala]

I had a thought, it is gone now... what was it... I hate this shit, while I think of it...

told my wife on Saturday that if she needed to she could let me go... as in leave me and find another that is not f*cked up...

Saturdays seem to be my worst day, it is because nothing is planned for Saturdays. Mon - Fri I go to work, Sunday I go to church (wifes dad is a minister) but Sat is nothing... So I go from bed to couch and stay there, mind melting in my own shit..

Mon - Fri, and Sun I wake up the same, with episodes, chest pain, tingling arm and mind going beserk but I know I have to push through. It is a major struggle but I manage to go into autopilot ( I find my safe place, my quiet place), until I get to work and then most days at work the shit has hit the fan and I need to respond rather quickly so adrenaline is an advantage and it sort of slowly pulls me out.

If I am not busy I am basically f*cked.

Should I have shot the f*cker, he and his crew caused so much carnage. They killed women and children, they slaughtered, butchers. We found bodies in wells, we found a warehouse with the back wall stained red, from cutting peoples throats. That is the hardest thing, it is like their is no closure, I still feel the adrenalin, I want to pull the trigger, okay getting really emotional now.... On moral side I know I did the right thing but f*ck I wish I had of done it.

 

[willis williams]

I don't think anyword used when it comes to describing ones feelings should not be sensored. Koala I also have a severe problem with my mouth not just from the army working in industrial mills didn't help. I think there are things all of us might change about what happened in combat. You could have pulled the trigger but your orders must have been different so it is on someone elses head. You can't attack yourself for what you didn't do look at what you did. I used to think that I should have got more revenge for the soldiers that died and the one drug through the streets of mogadishu because I had every oppertunity I stayed in country till the very last day march 28 1994 the presidents deadline for all americans out. I won't deny that I don't think about it sometimes but I think back and remember court martials that were given for shit as stupid as using the wrong weapon on someone like a mk 19 on someone to close when they don't arm 40mm is a big hole. I did not end up in prison because I was setting on the wrong gun. I have a family that I would not have if I had went to prison at 19. You could not have brought anyone back even if you would have pulled the trigger. But now you are home and living the best life possible with PTSD not incarserated. You talk about bad I've been locked up and with PTSD one night is an eternity. TEX

 

[BV101]

Yeah Koala. Don't worry about swearing. Its not big and its not clever, but you just swear as much as you like. You f*cking aussie twat. Ha!
Christ on a bike, I'm good.

 

[Koala]

Our ROE was basically.
You could return fire if fired upon.
You could fire if you felt your life was in danger.

But yeah if I had of fired it would have been a bit of a disaster. No witness's as to what happened and it would have drastically changed the relationship with the host country. But it just hangs over you, but then again if I had of fired it would hang over even worse..

You know those days that you start thinking, if I had of changed a few things would I be sitting in this mess right now. If I had of acted in a different way would I be a normal happy human being right no enjoying life..

I was not having a good day.
A bit like today.

Tex..
Yeah I did that, a few of us where asked by the Brigadier if we could stay on for another five weeks after most of my crew had left. I wore it with pride, by then it was pretty much club med anyway. Only action really happened in the first few months.
But still it was hard to see most of our crew return to Aus without us...

Big Al, yeah you got the picture.. ha..

 

[willis williams]

Koala, I have been having a bad 2 weeks I just don't seem to be pulling out of this funk. I think if I run my family would be better off because even when I am here I'm not home. So I hope your day turns around so you can aleast enjoy part of it. TEX

 

[wife of]

stick it out Tex,chin up bud.