You are speaking my language, photography literally saved my life. It is a great hobby for anyone with a mental illness, you and the camera, mindful of the present moment, looking for interesting, creative, fun picture opportunities. I like that you are aware you are not ready to help others and you I like that you are starting to build a good foundation of self-care before you take on such a stressful job. I would also suggest that you look for volunteer opportunities in non-profits that deal with mental health issues. I think most of us have strong feelings about helping others find their way out of the this hell, but a lot of therapists are getting sick by absorbing others trauma. As my therapist said to me when I was talking about my social worker degree, "It is a sad life, I hear horrible stories all day long, a lot of people do not get well, some do not want to get well or put the effort in, some will kill themselves. Do you want to hear this everyday and face your own trauma everyday or do you want to go to a job you enjoy going to and have fun at?"
I was pissed off when she said this to me, I wanted to help others. People with mental illness feel safe talking to me and my kids friend's have come forward to talk to me about their OCD, Depression etc. If I am in the elevator at the hospital and it stops on the mental health floors, I always seem to end up having a great conversation with the patients. I really think I could reach some of the people. Heck, all my career tests things come out the same and have since high school, police, social worker, purchasing, etc.
My therapy has ended now and I am working part-time for a small company. They allow me to make my own hours, do not stress any of their employees, work on the honour system and it is an environment of trust and respect. I have always had high stress well paying positions and my ego had a lot of problems thinking my professional career was gone. However, I have to say it is freeing to go to work and come home without carrying the workday home. I worked for a company that repair battle damaged tanks for the military. I often came home carrying the weight of the day with me. I often came home carrying the weight of working with employees who just plain did not give a darn about the people in those tanks or their families. They were more interested in stepping on everyone to move up the corporate ladder. I witness, things that made my stomach turn, such as having a party to celebrate the repair of 100 battle damaged tanks, and to boot it was beside a sea container that contained the remains of a soldier. I refused to go to it but was told I needed to attend because the president was going to be there and it mandatory. Go or else. This new jobs pays about 1/3 less but I love that my job no longer follows me home.
I still help, I volunteer as a mental health outreach worker for a local non-profit. In this role I go speak about my own experiences of mental health, those wonderful aha moments where I saw the light and my symptoms improved in leaps and bounds. I also volunteer a fun group that is dedicated to planting trees. This fall I am joining a group at helps women better their lives and get out of poverty.
Anyway, I wish you well in your journey and I really think you are doing the right thing. Get a camera and go have fun. It is a really life changer and life saver.
